A guy hears a lot of crazy stuff working in a detective division. In only three weeks, I think I’ve heard it all. Here’s a sampling of some of the wackier sound bites – the detectives are the even numbered quotes and the toads are the odd.
Top Ten Things Overheard In My Detective Division
10. “Who’s the nerd with the MacGyver ring tone?”
9. “I didn’t do it.”
8. “Nice Winnie the Pooh tie, Wyatt.”
7. “My lawyer’s gonna sue your ass.”
6. “If you always have paperwork in your hand, the bosses will think you’re busy.”
5. “Those aren’t my drugs/guns/kids.”
4. “So, ma’am, you have no idea who broke down your door, assaulted your sister, and took the boat load of weed from your safe?”
3. “I was just walking down the street, minding my own business, and someone shot me.”
2. “Oops. I forgot my gun.”
And the number one thing overheard in my detective division . . .
1. “I need a pregnancy test and an AIDS test.” (Was there ever any doubt?)
Great top 10. And Wyatt... Winnie the Pooh? Now thats precious!
ReplyDeleteLet me guess, the "My lawyer's gonna sue your ass" occurred after a full confession, in which the right to remain silent was waived, and the dude was being carted off to await judgement.
ReplyDeleteMom - Hey! It was a gift! It's black, and has the face shots of the characters all over the tie.
ReplyDeleteAFW - And the lovely lady wins the kewpie doll!
Obviously #1 doesn't need an IQ test. :)
ReplyDeleteCute tie.
Remind me to clean out my safe, cause that's where I keep all the contraband. At least your job has its entertaining moments.
Hey you could hide your weed in there!
ReplyDeleteI thought you were going to go for the Theme from Shaft for your ring tone. ;)
ReplyDeleteAt least the ringtone wasn't Miami Vice.
ReplyDeleteRT - Yes, stupid people ARE entertaining!
ReplyDeleteSssteve - Well, duh! Why didn't she think of that?
Rach - The rong tome wasn't mine, but a co-workers. I mean, MacGyver??? Gimme some credit!
RT - I wanna hold out for the Michigan fight song.
Wyatt... so #2 was a good guy or bad guy?
ReplyDeleteThese are classic!!
ReplyDelete"3. “I was just walking down the street, minding my own business, and someone shot me.”"
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've heard of Philly, that's not unbelievable.
Is that unfair?
Oh yeah. Seen this?
ReplyDeleteTony - Good guy. We usually lock our guns away in the squad room, since there are always toads walking up from the cell room. Sometimes, guys leave and forget to take their guns. Me? I always wear mine in the room, but am extra cautious when a toad comes upstairs.
ReplyDeleteLMC - Thanks. All 100% true.
Prof - That's completely fair . . . some of the time. Usually when someone is shot in my area, it involves drugs - and the shooter knows the shootee.
No where are the donuts? ;)
ReplyDelete