Q&A Answer Key

Not a lot of questions this week. Hopefully, that's because you were all voting for SYLG for Best Personal Blog. (I am barely ahead of someone we don't even know! Keep it in the family, and Vote Wyatt!) Okay, enough begging. Here's your wisdom:

Tyler D asks, "You describe yourself as a Libertarian. Where would you put yourself on the ideological spectrum? Are you more of a 'Burt Gummer' (although Mike Gross is a liberal) or a Neal Boortz?"

Ty, what the hell are you talking about? Kidding. Actually, I would say I am more of a V.I. Lenin Libertarian. He despised big government, so he overthrew it. Mmm . . . bloody coup!

CUG asks, "Would you have roughed up Cindy Sheehan if you had been the arresting officer? (Keeping in mind that there will be bonuses for roughing up hippies in my administration.)"

CUG, absolutely not! Those kinds of antics are expressly forbidden! (Waves Jimmy close) Actually, I would put her in the cell, and get the biggest cop in the station to put on a pink bunny suit. The six foot bunny would enter the cell, and beat the liberal off her. Who's gonna believe that she was assaulted by a gigantic pink rabbit???

Little Miss Chatterbox doesn't ask a question, but I'm sure she would ask, "Wyatt, do you still need people to vote for your blog at the Best So Far Awards?"

LMC, darn tootin'! Vote for me, and I'll never ask you guys for anything else again!

Ssssteve asks, "Now tell me the truth, did Philly really invent the Glorious Cheesesteak, or did you steal it from the Indians like every other white man idea?"

Ssssteve, actually John F. Kennedy invented the cheesesteak, but Joe Biden claimed that he did once in a speech. Heh. From what I hear, cheesesteaks suck arse outside the Philly metro area, so you may have tried one, but it probably isn't the same as we get in town.

Air Force Wife asks, "I still want to know what that smell is. And if it's you - what HAVE you been eating? On a more serious note - I saw some police "take down" a dude in St. Louis on Monday. I think he deserved it, but the traffic chopper caught the guys stomping him good, resting, stomping some more, resting, and donkey punching him. Why do you think Jesse Jackson isn't marching as we speak?"

AFW, it's probably because he didn't know about it . . . until now. Thanks!!! Actually, Jackson is ALWAYS marching. It's the only way he knows how to move. The police involved were probably just trying to administer CPR to the poor lad. Studies have shown it is more reliable if you use your feet. (Oh, and that smell was me. I had some Gouda cheese stashed at the bottom of the blog. My bad.)

Dr. Phat Tony asks, "Why are people continuing to vote for JimmyB, when it could mean the end of the world?"

Doc, I don't know. Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries? People don't always make smart choices. That would explain the whole Village People thing. For the record, I voted for every one in our inner circle who was nominated at least once. Thus, you all MUST do the same for me. I'm fighting for my life here, gang!!!

The Anti-Hippie asks, "Do cops really love donuts, or you more of a bagel-and-cream cheese kinda guy?"

AH, the fact of the matter is that cops are always inside Dunkin Donuts because their coffee is hands down the best on earth. So get bent. I am more of a Ring Dings kinda guy. Heh.

RT asks, "With the murder rate at 31 so far in 2006, I was wondering what would happen if the number got too high for Homicide to handle . . . or would it? Who do you think will gold in hockey at the Olympics?"

RT, plainly speaking, it wouldn't. The commish would detail detectives there if it did, but our Homicide Unit is the best around. However, to answer your question, if the number got too big, we'd just dump the bodies in in Jersey and let them handle it. As for the Olympics, it's not contest . . . Trinidad-Tobago. (Ah, I'm just yankin' ya. My money is on Sweden.)

Peakah asks, "Who would you most like to see traded to the Buffalo Bills, McNabb or Owens (cuz Lord knows that either of those crybabies would make my pathetic team better)."

Peak, I have a better suggestion. We'll give you the Phillies, Eagles, and Sixers, in exchange for some Buffalo Wings. Deal?