Are you an incompetent Marine who does not know how to drive? Are you an inept soldier who is constantly running over roadside IED’s? Do you wish that someone had the answers to all of your safe driving needs? Well, at The John Kerry Driving School, we can make it happen!Situated on forty lush acres of my wife’s inherited land, The John Kerry Driving School will train even the most uncoordinated military personnel in the fine art of avoiding land mines, explosives, and questions about your service record. Our crack instructors present a challenging curriculum, but not too challenging for the average American “GED soldier.” As I have always said, "There's no excuse … for American troops to be driving by IEDs and getting blown up." Our courses include:
Avoiding Land Mines (Both Real and Political) with Bill Clinton.
Driving On Both Sides of the Road with John McCain.
Water Crossings with Ted Kennedy.
Our program is rather pricey for the uncouth common man, but tuition reimbursement is available to those willing to work as unskilled labor. Teresa can never have too many gardeners, you know. So call us today, and get started down the road to competence!
The John Kerry Driving School: Where We Turn Loafers Into (My) Chauffeurs.
(As seen on This Week with George Stephanopoulos)
Damn Funny Wyatt.
ReplyDeletethis is funny, but why driving?
ReplyDeleteplease add me to your list of blogging buddies. even though we've never met and I'm a pathetic suck-up, I desperately wamt to get famous on blogspot. you are popular! Use your influence! plus, my blogging isn't even that bad.
Does he also do boats?
ReplyDeleteWho teaches U-turns? Would that be Kerry himself?
ReplyDeleteI think he would do much better at the "John Kerry: How to look like a Horse-face in 4 Easy Steps" course; but that's me.
ReplyDeleteby the way, how funny (I mean cool) is it that Waldo sees you as popular. You're like the popular dork. There may be hope for you yet. You should see Wyatt's mad Jedi skills.
LOL--I liked this!!
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned on my blog that Tony Snow isn't a right wing nutjob. What is the qualifications for that title? Do you & I qualify :-)?
Hysterical Wyatt!
ReplyDelete"plus, my blogging isn't even that bad."
Now THERE'S some creds! LOL
Ty - Thanks much. I thought it was pretty decent for a change.
ReplyDeleteWaldo - 'Cause Kerry hinted on "This Week" that U.S. servicemen kept driving into IED's as if they were too dumb to avoid them. Hence the quote. As for the link, patience young Jedi. 1. I'm not that popular. See my site meter. 2. You'll never get famous on Blogspot by emulating me. 3. I have NO influence, or I would average more than 100 hits a day. And 4. "Isn't even that bad" isn't exactly glowing praise!
TM - No, but Kennedy does. Well, that and "underwater Oldsmobiles."
Fm - Either him or Hillary "Stop Illegals. No, Recruit Illegals!" Clinton.
Randal - He makes John Elway look normal.
Anyone who sees me as popular is too far gone for rationalization.
LMC - I am not. (At least, I don't thing I am.) I am a nut job, but for many, many other reasons! I'll reserve comment on you :P
SK - Thanks! And, I thought that was pretty funny.
Wyatt one of your best!! Niiiiice!
ReplyDeletevery nice :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Wyatt! :)
ReplyDeleteSsssteve, do you by chance stutter? he
ReplyDelete