SYLG Profile: Robbie (AKA Butchie)

(Third in a five-part series.)

Robbie is the next member of the inner circle. Another Archbishop Ryan High School grad, Butchie was the football hero of the group. Playing center, he was the brunt of “bend over” jokes, but always behind his back. Although not the tallest, Butchie is certainly the most solid (and intimidating) of the group.

Robbie’s parents were the coolest people on planet Earth. They would let us hang out in his basement, playing pool, shuffleboard, and Intellivision until the wee hours of the morning. His mother would make us popcorn and order pizzas. She once let us play pool when Robbie was out on a date with his chubby girlfriend! (Remember Chrissy guys?) His father passed away not too long ago, and it was one of the worst days in our lives. We all miss him.

His high school career was better than most, until the Day Which Will Live in Infamy. During a crucial game, Butchie lined up for a field goal. When the play started, he made his infamous “high snap,” a flub that he will never live down. (The fact that the kicker ran the snap in for a touchdown instead of the field goal is irrelevant.)

Robbie parlayed his high school gridiron experience into a spot on the team at swanky Swarthmore College. Swarthmore was the Division III Columbia: they stunk royal. We never cared though, because his games were perfect excuses to get drunk and harass the other team – like we did for The Badger. After I made the lacrosse team at Saint Joseph’s, Robbie made the Swarthmore squad. I was happy for him; until I saw that we were scheduled to play Swarthmore the next season. We ended up playing each other twice. The first time, Robbie buried me with a crushing hit, but we won the game. The second time, Swarthmore won, but I buried his gargantuan friend Helder. We considered ourselves even.

After graduation, Butchie got a job. We can’t tell you what he does, because honestly, we don’t know. Either way, it pays well, and he and his wife Beth moved as far away from us degenerates as possible; to West Chester, PA. Rob and Beth were blessed with twins, a boy (Trevor) and a girl (Cassie), which keeps him too busy to play hockey with us anymore. Family over hockey; Butchie really has to prioritize.