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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Back, Back, Back, Back!

Good news, everyone! I received yet another reply from the French. This time, it was from the French Embassy Press Service. (They must be the guys who put all of the starch in the frogs' stuffed shirts.) Please stand clear of your computer, lest their backpedaling injure young readers:

Dear Sir/Madam,

(Insert best Cameron Frye voice) Call me "Sir" God damnit!

We have taken note of your message concerning the decision that was made by the Town Hall of Saint Denis and which only involves this city. It does not involve, nor in any way reflect the position of France.

Of course. I understand completely, since your country has been breaking its collective backs disavowing the Saint Denis position. Oh, wait a second. I haven't heard one peep about your official position, nor have I heard any denouncement of the position of France's San Francisco!

Cordialement / Regards
Service de Presse et d'Information / Press & Information Service
Ambassade de France / Embassy of France
Washington, D.C.

They're writing in some kind of moon man language!

Here are a few fun facts about Saint Denis:
  • Many of the residents are Muslim immigrants from former French colonies.
  • Former French king Dagobert is buried there. Isn't he the dog from Dilbert?
  • Saint-Denis was occupied by the Germans on June 13, 1940. Go figure.

Oh yeah, and the townspeople are obviously asshats.

Posted by at

6 comments:

  1. TylerMay 19, 2006 1:59 AM

    2 letters? Did you sign your email?

    Detective Wyatt Earp
    Philadelphia’s Bestest Sharp-Shooter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DeathlokMay 19, 2006 8:38 AM

    I believe that Cordialement is French for Postcoital, so you know what they are saying to you.

    Dagobert is the Planetary System where Yoda lives, which is why the email took so long to get to you. Hence, the French expression "Bathe or Bathe Not! There is no try!"

    tyler, he can't put "Bestest Sharp-Shooter" because he only scored a 99.. . . . . .POW!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 19, 2006 10:12 AM

    Hey, back back back is the only direction the french can go.

    ReplyDelete
  4. airforcewifeMay 19, 2006 10:14 AM

    And they didn't even offer you a Napoleon. Or some cheese.

    Dude, they're totally sneering at you behind their flappy Pink Panther trenchcoats.

    Let's name an American street "France Sucks Lane"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Buckaroo BanzaiMay 19, 2006 11:00 AM

    Ty - I am doing my best to start an International Incident.

    Deathlok - 1. Eww! Now I feel so cheap and dirty.

    2. Heh, Yoda. Now THAT'S comedy!

    3. Reply for me: OUCH!

    Fm - Maybe they can go back and put up a fight against the Germans.

    AFW - Or, "Surrender Boulevard."

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Conservative UAW GuyMay 20, 2006 11:01 AM

    I've officially named my driveway, "France Blows".

    ReplyDelete

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