Today is my day off. As such, you may ask, "Wyatt, why did you wait until the late afternoon to post?" The answer is simple: because Philadelphia's Municipal Court judges are morons. I was scheduled for a domestic violence case today. It was the sixth time the case has been scheduled in fourteen months. Not that I'm complaining, because I made oodles of overtime on each listing, but five continuances is ridiculous!
Any hoo, I arrived with Partner #1 and noticed that everyone - the cops, the offender, and the victim - were present. I thought, "Kickass!," this case might actually go on today. In the meantime, we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The next thing we know, the clock on the wall reads 2:00pm. It has been five hours since we checked in, and the case is still "on hold." While Partner #1 and I are riding the money train - next stop: Richville - we are lamenting the fact that our day off is passing us by. The D.A. prosecuting the case came out of the courtroom soon after and said what we were dreading:
The case will not go on today. The sixth continuance has been scheduled.
Why? Because the judge is a moron. This GED in a robe actually decreed that the trial would go on too long because there were too many witnesses present. Eh, what? Maybe his dishonor had heard the case at 10am, he wouldn't be wasting more money that my fair city does not have! Jackass.
And a good time was had by all! What do you do while waiting? Seems a very expensive waste of time! Why didn't you send his dishonor a note saying you had better things to do? ha
ReplyDeleteI hate judges...well, and most others involved in the court system. Unlike you, witnesses to a crime show up and LOSE wages only to be told to take off work yet another day. No wonder nobody wants to testify.
ReplyDeleteI'm no lawyer, but in the face of a looong list of witnesses, isn't that cause in itself for summary judgment?
ReplyDelete"Your honor, it's impossible for my client to get a fair trial".
"Why's that, counselor?"
"Cause there are too many witnesses here who saw him do it."
bangs gavel. "Good point. Defendant guilty. Case closed. Bailiff, take him away"
Well, you see...first he had to tell Mayor McCheese how to conduct his first wedding ceremony, then he had his tennis lessons, and then finally, he couldn't very well let your little court case interfere with his tee time.
ReplyDeleteHave some common sense, Wyatt...the judge just had better things to do than to waste time doing his secretary...ooops, I mean job.
Lin - Partner #1 and I went to breakfast, stood around, talked about the losers in the hallway . . .
ReplyDeleteSK - Heh. I got paid . . . a lot!
Vinnie - 'Cept that the defendant is a former Philly police detective (not me), and he and his wife have had "similar incidents" before. It's a cluster-frak.
RT - I wish I had a secretary.
The judge is a total idiot.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I was a witness at one of those and went in three times, all continued. On the fourth the judge decided she didn't need all the witnesses, after reading the statements, and a few other things, and sent us all home.
ReplyDeleteFun Fun Fun. But I will admit, there is no sport like trailer trash watching at the county court house :)
(turns Artie Lang voice on):
ReplyDeletewah, I got paid (OVERTIME) to sit around and do nothing.
wah, I got to eat a big, fatty breakfast.
wah, my vag hurts.
Lilian - Agreed. The D.A. tried to get the room changed, because "this guy is incompetent."
ReplyDeleteCP - Yeah. White trash is funny.
Randal - I wouldn't have to work so much overtime if a certain someone paid me back for putting him up in the hockey playoff pool.