A Reno 911 Moment

In my line of work, sometimes you get a job that just makes you laugh. Yesterday was one of those days. A season or two ago, there was a hysterical scene in Reno 911 where Lieutenant Dangle parked his police bicycle outside a donut shop. He walks into the store and after a minute, turns around and walks out.

And his bicycle is gone.

Imagine that in Philadelphia. It happened yesterday. A bike cop was checking the strip mall in his district, when he popped his head in the Chinese Restaurant. He asks if everything is okay, and the employee asks him to come in for a minute. The officer leaves the bike unattended and enters the building.

You see where I'm going with this?

In the three minutes that the officer was inside the restaurant, some young toad walked up to the bicycle, took it, and rode off into the sunset. I imagine the officer pulled a Dangle, and came outside screaming, "Oh, f**k me. Oh, f**k me!" Luckily, a witness saw the toad riding away, and notified the officer. The flash information provided to police radio went something like this:

"Cars stand by. In the *th District, flash on a stolen Philadelphia Police bicycle, be on the lookout for a black male, wearing a white t-shirt, and black shorts, riding a black bicycle with "POLICE" stamped on the frame."

The male was eventually apprehended by a cop wannabe who heard the job come out over his police scanner. The guy pulled his vehicle in front of the felonious cyclist, who surrendered instantly. The male broke off the saddle bags when he saw they were filled with moving violations and other police paperwork, and broke off the odometer because, "I thought it was a tracking device."

When asked why he took the bicycle, the male said, "I didn't know it was a police bike."

Because the word "POLICE" in huge, bold, white on black lettering is so easy to miss. Ass.