Today is Labor Day; the day we celebrate the working man (and woman). And as a working man, I was able to celebrate the day . . . by mowing the lawn and going to work. Since I wasn’t able to relax, barbecue, and watch the Phillies blow yet another game, I figured I could salute some of America’s hardest workers.
Ralph “Bucky” Phillips
Phillips, an escapee of Erie County jail, is wanted for the murder of a New York State Trooper on June 10. Not content with just one homicide, “Bucky” is also wanted for questioning in the shooting of two other troopers. Now that’s what I call consistency. Naturally, he is considered armed and dangerous, which means if you see him on the street, be sure to run him down with your car.
The US Basketball Team
Kudos, gentleman! Your team chock full of alleged professionals breezed through the opening rounds of the World Basketball Tournament with thrilling blowout victories over Antarctica, Scotland, and Afghanistan. Unfortunately on Thursday, Greece was not the word, as the team of millionaires whose country invented the sport lost by a score of 101-95.
Philadelphia’s Prison Inmates
The inmates, who stopped raping, robbing and killing their fellow citizens long enough to make a call to the ACLU, have filed a lawsuit against the city. The lawsuit claims that the city’s overcrowded prison system contributes to their poor living conditions. The class action suit demands that prisoners be released if conditions do not improve. One of the plaintiffs is a model citizen named Darius McDowell, a 26-year old man who has been arrested 22 times, for everything from firearms offenses to aggravated assault. Yeah, that’s a guy I want back on the street. It appears that the prisoners forgot that they were in prison, and not the Radisson.
Congratulations everyone! SYLG salutes you!
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