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The Top Five Other John Kerry Truisms

5. If you don't stay away from phone lines, you'll end up stuck voting Democrat.
4. If you don't stay in Vietnam, you'll end up stuck with bogus Purple Hearts.
3. If you don't check the real estate values, you'll end up stuck living in Massachusetts.
2. If you don't practice good hygiene, you'll end up stuck with horse teeth.

And the number one other John Kerry truism is . . .

1. If you don't take care of your vision, you'll end up stuck with an ugly wife.