A Message From His Excellency

As many of you already know, your exalted leader is scheduled to die next month. The infidels have decreed that Saddam Hussein be executed in accordance with their "laws." Laws, pffft! I AM THE LAW!!!

Luckily, the infidels are not aware of my favorite safety product: Johnson's Throat Guards. These little devils are the best thing to happen to Iraq since I gassed the Kurds. Made of durable polyeurethane, Johnson's Throat Guards will protect your neck from cuts, scrapes, and the dreaded gallows. The good folks at Johnson's guarantee me hours of fun during my last minutes on earth. Let them hang me! I'll swing back and forth like a pendulum, while giving the Yankee dogs "the finger!" The only thing I will be dying from is old age. HA!

So, when your neck is on the line, choose the product that is the top of the line: Johnson's. Tell them Saddam sent you.

Johnson's Throat Guards: Holy Heck, They Protect Your Neck!