People I Hate

The Green Onion Poopy Guy

Well, at least this will be good for my diet:

"All 15 Taco Bell restaurants in Philadelphia shut down yesterday afternoon, as the E. coli outbreak that has sickened at least four dozen people in New Jersey, New York and Montgomery County was believed to have been also found at a city Taco Bell. Green onions shipped to Taco Bell restaurants through a Burlington City warehouse are the leading suspect in the search for the source of E. coli contamination, health officials said." (H/T - The Philadelphia Inquirer)

Okay, I am no scientist, and I don't play one on TV, but I believe that many cases of E. coli erupts as a result of folks not washing their hands after they take their morning "sit down." So, to whomever is poking through their T.P. while making a B.M., maybe you can wash your hands P.D.Q.! O.K.?

The St. Louis Cardinals

With all due respect to The Man, the Cards are really pissing me off. Why? Because they are reportedly interested in signing Barry "U.S." Bonds. (The "U.S." stands for "Uses Steroids.") The Cardinals are a very good organization with a winning attitude; why bother signing a man who is at best described as a cancer in the locker room? Look, every Major League Baseball team is allowed one a-hole per club, and since the Cards already have Albert "Waaa! I should be the league MVP" Pujols, there is no place on their roster for Mr. Injection.

Britney Spears

Spears, America's favorite skank, stated that she went "a little too far" when she exited her vehicle sans panties at a recent whore-fest. The paparazzi captured the moment for posterity, and published the photos of Britney's cooter for all the world to see. I'm sorry, can I say "cooter" on the air? Cripes, you could see her kidneys! The 25-year old white trash mother of two tried to explain away the gaffe by telling her fans, "It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends." Um, Britney, I don't get out all that much, either, but I usually remember to put on some underwear!

Oh, and in polite society, unbuttoning a strategically placed blouse button is considered going "a little too far." Flashing your vagina in front of dozens of photographers is considered foreplay.