People I Hate

Somalia

Yeah, I mean the entire country. Believe it or not, the Somalis are having trouble with terrorists after their U.N.-created government has not asserted itself. Go figure.

BAIDOA, Somalia - Peace talks with Somalia's Islamic movement are no longer an option, the president said Friday, warning that the group is allowing al-Qaida terrorists to "set up shop" in the Horn of Africa.

Yeah, that's a shame. Let us know how that works out for you.

"This is a new chapter and part of the terror group's plan to wage war against the West," Abdullahi Yusuf told The Associated Press during a rare interview at his heavily guarded office in western Somalia. (H/T - Yahoo!)

If you think we're coming to help you after you watched us get slaughtered in October, 1993, you are out of your frakking mind.

Rosie O'Donnell

This fat piece of crap just doesn't know when to shut her mouth, whether it be at the buffet line or the television studio. Last week, she decided to make fun of the Chinese, choosing insults that my two-year old wouldn't use.

"You know, you can imagine in China it's like `ching chong, ching chong chong, Danny DeVito, ching chong chong chong, drunk, "The View," ching chong,'" the 44-year-old comedian said."

Wow, Rosie, you're both funny and edgy. I can see who all of those Long Island yentas look up to you.

"On Thursday's show, she told the audience: "To say ching chong to someone is very offensive, and some Asian people have told me it's as bad as the n-word. Which I was like, `Really? I didn't know that.'" (H/T - Yahoo!)

You didn't know that? Are you friggin' kidding me? Ironically, I once called Rosie a Butch-looking, unfunny, carpet-munching dyke. When someone told me that was offensive, I said, "Really? I didn't know that." Asshat.

I'm not sure which offends me more: the actual comments or the fact that this "comedian" hasn't said anything even remotely funny in thirty years.

Wyatt Earp

No, not the historical character. I mean me. I'm frakking up my health. I went to the doctor's today for the results of my bloodwork - I get tested every three months for my cholesterol levels - and got some rather unpleasant news. My sugar is running high, which is a warning sign for diabetes. Suffice to say, I freaked out. The doctor told me that it is not inevitable, and that we would know better what I'll look like after the next blood check in three months, but I have to make radical changes, post haste. First, candy, cakes, and (for some reason) potatoes are all out. Second, I need to exercise a lot more. Although I go to the gym three times a week, I appear to be spending all of my time lifting weights instead of doing cardio. And finally, I need to lose the fat like yesterday.

To be brutally honest, I'm scared to death, but I think I am also finally scared straight.