Here are a few things that have been running through my mind today.
* Why didn't Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer tell Santa to get bent on that foggy Christmas Eve? The other reindeer wouldn't let him play in the reindeer games - obviously a steroid-ridden extravaganza at best - and the Fat Man wouldn't give him the time of day until they needed a favor. Screw 'em, I would have said! Let them find their own damned way.
* If Frosty the Snowman was "alive" back in the 1600's, would the Puritans have hung him - and his magic hat - as a witch?
* How in the hell did Linus' blanket transform Charlie Brown's pitiful Christmas tree into a plush, green dynamo?
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