Cinderella Has Left The Building

Once upon a time, a poor, downtrodden football team was gasping for its last breath. Its evil - well, not exactly evil, but a little surly - stepmother Wilma was ranting and raving that they would never make the great ball without Cinderella's injured step-sister, Donovana.

Yet, with the help of a fairy - a vicious rumor, courtesy of T.O. - godfather named Jeff Garcia, Cinderella played its very, very best. Jeff helped Cinderella pick herself up, dust herself off, and run through the royal ball's receiving line. Glass slippers or not, Cinderella's friends Brian Westbrook and Donte Stallworth would not be denied, as Cinderella stormed into the playoffs on a glorious carriage.

Once at the prince's castle in the delta, however, the dream began to fade. Through no fault of her own, Cinderella stumbled in the presence of the great prince. Her fairy godfather pulled out all of the magic he could muster, but it was all for naught. Westbrook's glass slipper shattered, and Cinderella's carriage turned into a fat pumpkin named Andy.

For yesterday was not Cinderella's day. It was the day of the prince. But fear not; this story may someday have a happy ending, and Philadelphia may live happily ever after.