Even More Useless Bunk

Here's something that will set off your b.s. meters. Yahoo! had a recent article entitled, "5 Things never to say on a first date." In it was the usual bunk that all of the "experts" warn us about, surrounded by even more bunk. For instance:

But if the goal is to determine whether the two of you may be a good match, then part of the process is not just detecting the lies, but also knowing the best things to say-and avoiding the worst. Do that and you'll be well on your way to being the kind of person who will engage, interest, and intrigue your across-the-table mate. (H/T - Yahoo! Health)

First of all, lies are the best part about the first date. Hell, I lie about myself on the blog all the time! I'm not a detective; I'm a wealthy man-about-town with perfect teeth and a 30-inch waist! But enough about me . . . If people want what you really shouldn't say on the first date, I'm your Huckleberry. Let's rock!

5. "Wow, you really remind me of my mom. You are so hot!"

4. "Can I store some bodies in your freezer? I'm kinda in a bind."

3. "Hi, my name is Tyler D."

2. "I haven't brushed my teeth in seven days. Can you tell?"

1. "The ring? No, that's not a wedding band. I'm holding it for a Hobbit. He's in the bathroom."