Madam Butterface

Hey, is that the D.C, Madam, or Roseanne Barr?

It appears that everyone is abuzz at the D.C. Madam's promise to "name names" on national television. Democrats especially are salivating at the prospect of seeing more Bush Administration personnel outed. Of course, for the libs, outing the deputy Secretary of State isn't exactly the equivalent of seeing Karl Rove's name on the marquee, but they are showering this Whoremaster with a troubling sort of hero worship. In reality, she is no better than any sleaze selling their stories for money and/or fame:

Palfrey piqued fascination -- and anxiety -- by first threatening to sell phone records that could unveil thousands of clients, and then handing them over, apparently for free, to ABC News. She is scheduled to appear tomorrow in U.S. District Court in the District.

On Friday, Randall L. Tobias resigned as deputy secretary of state one day after confirming to Brian Ross of ABC that he had patronized the Pamela Martin firm. Speaking yesterday on "Good Morning America," Ross said Tobias told him Tobias's number was on Palfrey's phone records because he had called "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." There had been "no sex," Ross quoted Tobias as saying, and that recently he has used another service, "with Central American gals," for massages.

"As the old saying goes, 'I need to dance with the guy who brung me,' " she wrote in an e-mail to a Washington Post reporter. "I have promised ABC News that the '20/20' interview will be an exclusive one. I am sure you can understand my situation." (H/T - Washington Post)

So . . . Palfrey is a whore in every sense of the word? Now I get it.

Look, while I don't condone the patronizing of a prostitute, I don't exactly condemn it, either. Hell, there are a lot of butt-ugly guys out there that have to pay for sex. Take Sssteve, for example. Ha, burn! The fact of the matter is that this is a non-story. Bush, Cheney, and Rove's names aren't going to be on this list, and the anticipation of slack-jawed yokels will take a serious downturn soon enough. No one cares if the head chef at the Pentagon was one of Ms. Palfrey's clients. believe me.

Besides, they're just whores. And when dealing with whores, I utilize the wisdom of Family Guy's Peter Griffin:

"You may have killed her when you shoved all those dollar bills down her throat. You may have killed her when you hit her with the stool. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I'll tell you what didn't kill her . . . smoking!"