The Greatest Show On Earth

At some point in life, every man stops what he is doing, jumps up, and exclaims, "Oh my God, I have become my father!" Sometimes that realization comes with dread, and sometimes it comes with a certain amount of joy. For me, it was more of the latter. Quick story.

My father was always interested in "educational" shows when Randal and I were growing up. (Dad still is, by the way.) Instead of watching crapola like Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley, we were watching Holocaust and The Winds of War. Sure, we couldn't have water cooler conversations with our classmates the next day, but after a while, the programs grew on us. And Dad inadvertently put me on the path of knowledge. Most nights, I am spending time with my friends at The Discovery Channel, The History Channel, and The Military Channel.

Recently, I have been hooked on The Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers, but this show beats them all into submission. I am talking about Man vs. Wild.

Here's the premise: the host (Bear Grylls, pictured, left) is a survival expert and former member of the SAS - who just also happened to climb Mt. Everest while in his 20's! Every week, he is literally dropped into the wild with nothing but a survival knife and a canteen, and is expected to make it out alive. He has been dropped into the Amazon, the Australian Outback, and the Rocky Mountains.

And don't let the photo fool you: this guy is hardcore. He makes Rambo look like a prissy little bitch. Here are some highlights of his Australian Outback adventure:

Bear parachuted into the outback in mid-Summer. The temperature at the time was well over 100 degrees with 100 percent humidity. After an hour or so, his canteen was empty. With no source of water for miles, Bear began drinking his own urine.

By nightfall of his first day, he raced to build a shelter before severe thunderstorms hit his location. He singlehandedly built shelter (with a roof) out of branches and leaves, which were tied together with loose vines.

The next day, he started getting a little hungry, so when he stumbled upon a HUGE crucifix spider, he snatched it up. Dinner is served! Later, after spotting a small stream, he found a python. The joy in his eyes was evident, since (according to him) snake is very tasty. I won't bore you with the details of how he killed the snake: you don't want to know.

After avoiding crocs near the river and shimmying down a 40-foot tall tree to safety, Bear finally reached civilization: almost three days later. I am not sure which is more amazing; the fact that he made it almost completely unscathed, or that he was so calm when faced with a situation that would make me wet my pants.

Man vs. Wild. Check it out. You (and my Dad) will be glad you did.