People I Hate

Happy Thursday, everyone! After a truly traumatic morning, I am here to fulfill my promise of bringing you people truly deserving of hatred. Sure, hate is a strong word, but since I'm going to Hell anyway, what's the harm? Flame on!

Senator Joe Biden (D - Delaware)

This man may be the least intelligent politician in America. And considering some of the mental defectives we have sent to the Beltway, that is quite an achievement! On Tuesday, Joe Dirt pontificated about the Democrats' cut-and-run program in Iraq. And then it happened: another Biden Boner . . .

"The political solution is somehow the Iraqis will have an epiphany - I know Muslims don't have epiphanies, that's a Christian thing - will have an epiphany and all of sudden they are going to get together, realizing what's stake and form this unity government that can deliver."

Had I not been listening to Hugh Hewitt's radio program, I would have missed this gem, and Hugh's terrific reaction to it . . .

"I suppose it is too much to expect Slow Joe to recall that South Vietnam fell to a conventional invasion from the North backed by the Soviet Union and the PRC because clearly a fellow who doesn't understand the different definitions of "epiphany" but understands it to mean exclusively as the Epiphany is not going to do well comparing 1975 and 2007." (H/T - Hugh Hewitt)

Well played, Mr. Biden. I reckon the Senate Floor doesn't have any dictionaries lying around? Moron.

Barry Bonds

Like Biden, Barry Bonds is a regular here. Mr. Steroid is about to break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, and with one swing of the stick, baseball's credibility will be gone forever. It simply amazes me that fans in San Francisco (and many other cities as well) cheer for this obvious cheating bastard. Of course, little that happens in San Francisco amazes me anymore, but when Mr. Juice decided to fist his home fans by not participating in this year's Home Run Derby, he sunk to a new low.

Look Big Head, fans come out to see your steroid-ridden muscles hit home runs. This was your last All-Star game, and it was being played in your home park. Would it have killed you to do something for your idiot fans? Jerkoff.

Bonds, you're like school in the summertime . . . no class.

Whomever Created Human Eyes

Call it The Creator, Evolution, or what have you, this person needs to suffer mightily. I woke up this morning in excruciating pain. It felt like there was something in my left eye. And it didn't feel like an eyelash; it felt like a paper clip. I checked my eye in the mirror, but couldn't see anything, even though there was definitely something there. After many blood-curdling attempts, whatever it was wasn't going to budge. Now I'm crying from the irritation, and near screaming from the pain. It felt like whatever it was, it was shredding my cornea.

So, I jumped into the shower to rinse out the ol' peepers. After about fifteen minutes of constant rinsing, my eye was still killing me. By this time, I am praying for death . . . and the death of whomever created these things! I got out, and checked again in the mirror. Nothing. Finally, I put in my contact lenses to see if that would help. For some unknown reason, it did. I left the contact lenses in for a while, and when I took them out, my eye felt a little better.

Unfortunately for me, my left eye is still blurry and watery, so I'll probably be on a street corner selling pencils in a week or so. Frakkin' eyes!