More Richmond Stuff

I just realized I forgot a few things. My apologies!

Someone take a memo . . .

• Note to the guy running the bus tour: After a day at the track, most people are tipsy, deaf, and exhausted. The last thing they want to do is watch a movie on the ride home. Especially if it is extraordinarily loud while we're trying to nap, and especially if it's Out to Sea with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. This was, with no exaggeration, the worst film ever made! There was no one under 100 in this movie! Immediately after it finished, I asked Randal if Matthau and Lemmon were dead. When he replied, "Yes," I snarked, "GOOD!"
• Note to the woman in the front of the bus: When you have a thicker mustache than Saddam Hussein, bleaching it will not help matters! Snip it, shave it, wax it! Do something! It looks like a caterpillar is napping on your upper lip.
• Note to male NASCAR fans: If you have bigger breasts than Pamela Anderson, it's probably not the best idea to go shirtless at the race. The guy behind Randal and I had real hooters. Do yourself a favor, chief; get a Man-zier (or a 'Bro).
• Note to the NASCAR detractors: Last weekend's race was my 7th, I believe. In that span - 9 years - I have seen exactly ZERO fights in the stands. None. Don't get me wrong: plenty of people get drunk at the races, and occasionally the language gets a little blue, but I have yet to see one fight - or even one argument - in the bleachers. When NASCAR fans don't like the driver of the person next to them, they give them grief, but they don't throw punches. How many other professional sports can make that claim?