It's Time To Put Joe Pa To Sleep

My brother-in-law, Fish, always tells me that Penn State is "all that's good in college football." I wonder if he feels the same way today?

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno addressed his involvement last Friday in a traffic dispute on campus during his call-in radio show, Nittany Lion Hotline, last night on WNTP-AM (990).

"I've been accused of road rage," Paterno said. "I was only doing something I've done plenty of times to students."

Paterno explained that he saw a car drive through a stop sign on Bigler Road, at which point he honked his horn and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"I pointed my finger at [the woman driver]," Paterno said. "I did not give her the middle finger, even if I knew what that meant."

Paterno told the unidentified woman that he had seen what she had done and that he had her license-plate number. A man then approached the 80-year-old coach and told him that the woman was his wife, Paterno said.

"I shouldn't have said this, but I said to him, 'That's your problem,' " Paterno said last night. (H/T - The Philadelphia Inquirer)

Wow, that's great, Joe. So, let me get this straight: after coaching a college football team for thirty-some odd years, you now have police powers? Why did I spend six months in the academy to earn my certification? Hell, I've been coaching high school lacrosse for fifteen years; can I pull over people on my day off and yell at them with impunity?

What other powers do you have now, Joe? Can you carry a firearm? Are you able to fly the team plane to the away games? Will you be giving the players full body massages? Help me out here!

You know, if any other random, everyday person pulled this kind of stunt, he or she would have been arrested for impersonating a police officer. In Happy Valley, Pennsylvania, senile Joe Paterno is lauded for his conscientious citizenship. Unbelievable.