Mayor Squidward Wants To Fix Philly's "Inferiority Complex"
|Oh, swell. Perhaps he should get elected first, huh?|
PHILADELPHIA (AP) ― Michael Nutter has learned something in more than a year of campaigning for mayor: Philadelphia is a dirty place and its people suffer quite an inferiority complex.Picking up the trash? Wow, that is outside-the-box thinking. Personally, I would hire more police officers and firefighters first, but I guess I am just old school. Our current mayor, the despicable and corrupt John Street, announced a plan to rid the streets of the abandoned autos in his first month in office. The thugs kept killing each other in record numbers, but at least our streets were clear!
Look, running this city is not a difficult task . . . as long as you prioritize. If I were elected mayor, my five-step plan would improve this burg in a matter of weeks. To wit: