Rhymes With "Boozer"

Congratulations bowlers, compared to these people, you are now officially considered athletes.

Thomas Snyder can crack an easy Sudoku nearly as fast as he can write. The really hard ones take a minute or two longer. That dazzling speed has made him the reigning world champ of the American-born game with the Japanese name.

And it makes him the puzzler to beat when he comes to town this weekend to compete in the first U.S. Sudoku championship, sponsored by The Inquirer.

"Most people who know of me consider me the favorite," says Snyder, 27, who won the world championship in Prague in March. "I think it's just respect for how fast I can solve a puzzle."

He isn't bragging. On the way to a puzzle contest in Brazil last week, Snyder warmed up for the U.S. tournament by zipping through a Sudoku rated "easy" in 52 seconds, obliterating two marks he posted last year with Guinness World Records.

The U.S. championship has a top prize of $10,000, which puzzlemaster Will Shortz, host of the event, says may be the largest prize ever for a Sudoku tournament. (H/T - The Philadelphia Inquirer)

Can you imagine the babes that Snyder gets? He must be getting more tail than Sinatra! The simple fact that there is a World Sudoku Championship makes me cringe. I can see the offshoots now . . .

• The World Championship of Shoe-Tying.
  
• The World Championship of Sarcastic Blogging.
• The World Championship of Interpretive Dance.
• The World Clothes-Matching Championships (Vinnie wouldn't stand a chance.)
• The World Ass Scratching Championships. (Randal would be the heavy favorite.)

Anyone else have some ridiculous suggestions? I'm all ears.