Tony Kornheiser: The Death Of MNF

Just look at this tool. This is Tony Kornheiser, and he is the man that has singularly made Monday Night Football unwatchable. Although Korn-holer is a major tool, he is not the only force that has destroyed this once-proud program.

Hmm, that gives me an idea . . .

The Top Ten Ways To Make MNF Better.

10. Allow Kornheiser to speak only during commercials.
9. Include rap sheets with player stats.
8. Punch Chris Berman every time his Swami pick is incorrect.
7. Indiscriminately murder an unsuspecting fan.
6. "Jaworski" is too ethnic. Change his name to Jones.
5. Naked cheerleaders.
4. Naked announcers.
3. Two words: "Steroid Cam."
2. Have O.J. Simpson sell Ginsu knives during the show.

And the number one way to make MNF better is . . .

1. Keep Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber far away from HDTV!