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Saturday, December 01, 2007

The Most Important Criminal Case In History

Sons of bitches!

450 Kegs Stolen from Guinness Brewery

DUBLIN, Ireland (AP) - November 30, 2007 - Irish police were hunting for a beer bandit who stole 450 full kegs from the Guinness brewery - the largest heist ever at Ireland's largest brewer.

National police said a lone man drove into the brewery - a Dublin landmark and top tourist attraction - on Wednesday and hitched his truck to a fully loaded trailer awaiting delivery to city pubs. Diageo PLC, the beverage company that owns Guinness, said the brewery had never suffered such a large-scale theft before in its 248-year history.

Police said the raider took 180 kegs of Guinness stout, 180 kegs of U.S. lager Budweiser and 90 kegs of Danish beer Carlsberg. Guinness brews both of those foreign brands under license for sale in Ireland.

Police declined to say whether the theft had been captured by closed-circuit surveillance cameras. No description of the suspect was issued, suggesting that nobody got a good look at him.
(H/T - 6ABC)
I am hereby offering my detective services to the Dublin Police Department, and vow to make this case my top priority. I will not eat, I will not sleep, and I will not (of course) drink until I find the doers of this most heinous crime. No stone will be left unturned, no pub will be left unexamined, and no bathroom will be left unvisited. In short, I am forming a posse.

Who's with me?

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