Understanding The Bowl Championship Series

If you're a college football fan like me, you are probably scratching your head in bewilderment this afternoon. You see, for some reason, no college football team wants to be #1 this season. Every time a team reaches the top of the standings, they wind up losing their next game. As a result, the Bowl Championship Series - a super-fraud to begin with - has turned into a catastrophe of Britney Spears proportions.

The championship game is set, pitting the despicable Ohio State Buckeyes (I'm a Michigan fan) against the LSU Tigers. The only undefeated team in the country - the University of Hawaii - wasn't even given consideration to play in the title game.

And this, dear readers, is what really frosts my weenie.

I realize that the dreaded "Strength of Schedule" comes into play here, but in my book, undefeated is undefeated. They're the only Division I team in the nation to be without a loss, and their ranking is only 10th? That's not right. If anything, the BCS Committee (read: hacks) should have learned a lesson from Boise State last year. The Broncos got a shot against a very good Oklahoma team - even though they should have been considered for the title game as well - and shocked the world by beating them in overtime.

Why not give the Rainbows the same shot, especially in a year that has seen perennial titans losing to also-rans?

I believe it is due in part to the BCS selection process. SYLG has unearthed this once-secret formula, and I am privileged to expose it here for the world to see. Ladies, you may want to hold onto your boyfriends . . .

Top Five BCS Selection Methods

• Picking team names out of Joe Paterno's soiled undergarments.
• Add three extra percentage points for players with felonies.
• Ugly cheerleaders? December bowl game.
• Ranking schools in order of graft.
• Eeny, meeny, miney, Ohio.