Saturday, March 08, 2008

"3am, Time For Milking"

The election season is in full swing, and if you're like me, you can't wait for it to end. Luckily, if you're a Republican living in a handful of states, the primary season is already over before it began. John McCain clinched the GOP nomination, and now your vote doesn't mean diddly.

Thankfully, your scheduled primary day doesn't need to be wasted . . .

Things To Do In Pennsylvania When You’re Dead

Senator John McCain (R – AZ) clinched the GOP presidential nomination this week after impressive victories in Ohio, Texas, Rhode Island, and Vermont. The wins catapulted him above the 1,191 delegates necessary for the party nod, and his closest remaining challenger - former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee – dropped out of the race. It is still unclear if Huckabee’s bass guitar has conceded as well.

This is good news for Republican voters . . . unless you live in one of the nine states whose primaries have not yet been held. You folks are getting the screw-gee.

That’s right, if you are a Republican living in Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, or South Dakota, you are now as relevant as A Flock of Seagulls. Your primary vote, for all intents and purposes, is meaningless, and it is only the first week of March.

Nice, huh?

Luckily, there are many exciting alternatives for “dead” voters on primary day, and most are guaranteed to be more fun than jokingly pulling a lever for Ron Paul. Let’s go through them state-by-state:

You can read the rest of the funny goodness HERE.

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