Saturday, March 15, 2008

An Important Message From Eliot Spitzer

Yeah, I'm probably beating a dead horse, but the Spitzer scandal was red hot before deadline day, and since it was ripe for satire, I jumped aboard. Here's a sample:

Hello, my name is Eliot Spitzer. You may remember me as the former governor of New York, although some sarcastic pundits have referred to me as “Mr. Groper.” Three is certainly not company, you jackals! Unfortunately, the law enforcement community now knows me as the infamous “Client 9.” I pleaded with the investigator to refer to me as Client 8, since that is my lucky number, but he wouldn’t have it. Now look at me.

Anyway, I am here today to discuss an important matter: global warming. Global warming is responsible for the erosion of millions of miles of coastline, thousands of deaths, and dozens of sun block overdoses every year. Have you seen how pasty the Olsen Twins have become? It truly breaks my heart. And as sad as I am to report the damage that global warming has inflicted on our earth mother, I am even more saddened to admit that it is responsible for my current “call-girl scandal.”

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Please allow me to make my case, point by point.

Teased yet? Good. You can read the rest of the goodness HERE.

UPDATE: This week's article got picked up by PA Pundits!

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