So the Philadelphia jagoffs won their second Super Bowl. Great job, guys!
On Sunday afternoon, my squad were assigned to Philadelphia's City Hall. You'd think that would be a good gig, but it's Philadelphia, arguably the worst city in America.
I arrvied at 2pm, although we weren't supposed to arrive at 4pm. I wanted to get a parking spot where my car wouldn't be destroyed. You see, I was promoted in 2005, and every single time some jackass sports team in Philadelphia came close to a championship, my squad was always -
ALWAYS - the ones that had to go to these "celebrations" and we were always the ones who got injured or were the ones that drunken girls claimed we assaulted them.
We were stationed at City Hall - it was a 12 hour shift - 4pm through 4am. We were supposed to secure the Mariott Hotel, the Masonic Temple, and City Hall. It was a pretty good gig. Well, until a female captain decided we needed to leave our location and go into the anarchy.
The officers were supposed to be doing the grunt work, and we would process those who were arrested. The female captain told me to be part of the riot patrol. Since I didn't have a riot helmet, or anything other than my pistol, that wasn't going to do any good.
The captain ordered me to do this, and this happened right when the riots started. Everyone in Philadelphia started walking down every street near City Hall, and it took them about five minutes for us to realize we lost the entire part of City Hall. Hell, these jackasses stole a pole and walked around with it. That was our section, but our betters thought it would be better to leave City Hall.
Oh, did I mention the guy who had a giant, well it looked like an M-80, and exploded it a foot away from where I was standing? Yesterday was difficult because I still had ringing in my ears. Shortly after that happened, the jackasses started lighting fireworks and sending them - take a guess - at us.
I have been told that my squad will have to go to the Eagles parade. As always, it's us, and never anyone else.
Sorry you had to put up with that garbage.
ReplyDeleteOn the upside, Trump was at the game (1st sitting President to do that) & it was funny to watch Taylor (no so) Swift's face. And all the internet memes that got posted on Monday.
I saw her sad face when people started booing her. Hilarious.
DeleteFireworks getting thrown at you are no joke. My childhood best friend still bears a scar from the Great Mississippi Fireworks Wars of '84.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Philly taxpayers will now have to foot the bill to repair the damage and replace what was ruined and stolen.
ReplyDeleteWe were supposed to be sent to City Hall, then some captain took us to another sector. That's why you may have seen the idiots stealing a flag pole.
DeleteA guy I know used to post anecdotes about the precinct where he worked, kinda like this but funny.
ReplyDeleteHe stopped doing it, I miss those stories.
I just hope he's saving them up for when he no longer works there.
I miss my buddy Diego.
I miss him, too.
DeleteI know. The department won't let me post, which is why I haven't been posting. I'll start posting more. Sorry.
DeleteI'll be posting blogs for a while and hold a lot of them and when it gets closer to November, I'll be back. I cannot take the chance considering how I'm so close to retirement.
ReplyDeleteNothing worse than riots, even if you're wearing riot gear. A friend an I used to hate all those kind of extra BS assignments and we took it as a challenge and contest to see who could arrest the most people, thus causing so much grief we eventually were excluded from being told to work. I never thought our antics would have a positive outcome.
ReplyDelete