Val Kilmer, He Was Your Huckleberry - 1959-2025

Val Kilmer, one of the best actors of all time, has passed away today.

Val Kilmer, a homegrown Hollywood actor who tasted leading-man stardom as Jim Morrison and Batman, but whose protean gifts and elusive personality also made him a high-profile supporting player, died on Tuesday in Los Angeles. He was 65. The cause was pneumonia, said his daughter, Mercedes Kilmer. Mr. Kilmer was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2014 but later recovered, she said.

Kilmer was fighting a surge of maladies, and it seemed like he was getting better. Sadly, he could not overcome the pneumonia.

Val was an amazing actor, with a terrific list of amazing movies. Doc Holliday in Tombstone, Jim Morrison in The Doors, Elvis Presley in True Romance, Chris Knight in Real Genius, Iceman in Top Gun, and possibly his best film as Chris Shiherlis in Heat.

It's a sad day, for Hollywood. If nothing else, at least Val can see some peace.

Shelly Threw It Hard, But The Boyfriend Had A Harder Wick

Meet Shelly Hardwick from, well, you already guessed it, Florida.

Shelly was arrested after throwing a watermelon at her boyfriend. The boyfriend dodged the watermelon, but Hardwick claimed she did not throw it at boyfriend.

Riiight!

Look, I can understand that Hardwick - heh - would be angry at her boyfriend, but throwing a watermelon at the guy was probably not the best idea Shelly ever had.

Obviously, Shelly will be spending some jail time, and maybe she can drop watermelons and toss oranges?

By the way, doesn't Shelly look like Gollum of the Lord of the Rings?

Lousy Cheap Computers!

So, in the past few days I have had terrible problems with my desk at work. For some reason, when I start my work computer, the computer crashes, or worse, mess with our computers.

There is an app where we can see calls from out four districts. It's a pretty important app, but for the last week or so, when I try to open the app, it knocks me off the line.

Suffice to say it's pretty damned infuriating.

When the app knocks me off the line, I have to ask a supervisor to call downtown to get it fixed. The problem is that when I come in the next day, it knocks me off the line again.

And again, and again, and again.

Now the app isn't all that great, but it's the app I need when people are sick or late for court. I would try to fix this myself, but every time I try, I get knocked off the line.

I understand that our computers aren't the best, but for crying out loud, why should we have to suffer through this every singe day.

It's just annoying.

The Missus Is Going Back To Work

Yes, the missus has been working in the script area for a few years now, but the school's first grade teacher passed away.

After the principal asked if she wanted to take over first grade, she decided she would. She will still be working in the script area on weekends and occasionally on weekdays.

It'll help with two of us bringing in the bacon. The Catholic schools don't pay much, but it's better than nothing.

Of course, she comes home and rants about a few of the first graders, but otherwise, she seems to like it.

Gene Hackman And His Wife Passed Away Today

Gene Hackman, his wife Betsy Awakawa and their dog were found dead in their residence. Foul play was not involved, but there is an active investigation by the Santa Fe County Sheriff's Office.

Gene Hackman was one of the greatest actors I have ever seen. He was great in almost everything. The French Connection, Lex Luthor in Superman, Crimson Tide, No Way Out, The Firm, and Unforgiven.

The man was a giant, and he was a terrific actor. He passed away at the age of 95.

Thank you for everything, Gene. You were truly one of the best.

Michelle Trachtenberg, 1985-2025

One of the most fabulous actresses in my lifetime has passed away on February 26th. She died at the age of 39.

She underwent a liver transplant, and it is assumed the body rejected the liver.

Michelle was great in almost everything. I'd say her best film was Euro Trip - if you haven't seen it, definitely check it out.

Someone so talented and young should never pass away as such a young age.

She was a great actress, and I hope she is with the Lord.

Well, This Was Not A Surprise

The Philadelphia Eagles originally decided to not go to to the White House, because I guess they think Trump is the devil. That annoyed some Eagles fans, and from what I have heard is that the Eagles may go to the White House.

My guess is they got a lot of crap for them not going to Washington, D.C. Now I would rather these a-holes would stay in Philadelphia and not soil the White House.

I'm not sure if they will go to D.C., but I'd rather they stay home... forever. P.S. -

I will never have to do another Eagles parade, or be one of the guys trying to push past us after an Eagles game.

Thank the good Lord.

Parents Bound Son With Tape

A married couple has been arrested on felony charges after their eight-year-old son suffered “permanent disfigurement” when he was bound with tape “from his shoulders down to his feet” in an apparent disciplinary measure, police say.

As alleged in an arrest affidavit, Nicolas Barcet, 56, admitted chasing his child around their Florida home before “grabbing the victim against his will.” Barcet then picked up the boy and carried him to the child’s bedroom.

“The defendant held the victim down as he utilized tape to tie up” the child “from his shoulders down to his feet,” investigators allege. While this was occurring, Barcet’s wife Alix, 45, looked on and did not intercede.

The boy, who was left alone in his room, told cops he yelled for help and “attempted to stand up despite not being able to move due to the tape.” While trying to get up, the child fell on his face, “splitting his chin open.”

When the boy’s parents later found him “bleeding on the bedroom floor,” Nicolas Barcet told cops he “performed first aid to get the bleeding to stop.” The couple did not call emergency services or bring their son “to a medical facility to have the laceration properly checked and closed.”

Maybe it's just me, but these parents need to be taped to railroad tracks.

You two are complete scum.

Gotta Love The Eagles... Or Not.

So, since people asked for it, here is what happened during the Super Bowl and the Eagles Parade afterward.

Our betters told my squad that we were going to be out during the Super Bowl. It was fantastic, sitting outside in 25 degrees simply walking around, hoping we could get warm.

My group was supposed to be in front of City Hall, until a female captain told us to ignore City Hall and leave City Hall unprotected. The captain told us that we should be doing crowd control. That's nowhere near what we would be doing there, because we were in plain clothes. We all have firearms, but nothing else. I assumed they thought we'd start fighting against the crowd.

We were on the line for twelve hours. They did allow us to get some food because the FOP gave us literally nothing.

We made it through the Super Bowl, and at first we were told we would not be going to the Eagles Parade. Then the evening before the parade, we were told we were working the parade.

So now a lot of us were pissed. I was still really sick from the Super Bowl, but I dragged myself to work at 5:45am, and I told the supervisors that I could do a little bit, since I was running with a 102 fever.

The last out detectives all said,

"Why are you here? You're top dog in your squad."

I think my supervisor must have heard the last out guys, and called me over to him. He looked at me and said, "Go home." I said, "I can hack it." The supervisor ignored it and said, "Go home."

I went home, laid in bed for much of the day, since I hadn't been able to get real sleep for three days. I appreciated the gesture, and it was nice of him.

Oh, while I'm here, there was a sighting of everyone's favorite detective. I was walking out of the division as he was walking in. I walked past him, and asks me, "Where are you going?"

I said, the supervisor sent me home. I am running a 102 fever.

As if I was faking it.

I should be good to go by Tuesday or Wednesday, since I'm sure my coworkers must be annoyed by my constant sneezing and coughing.

Well, The Despicable Cop Hating Eagles Won The Super Bowl

So the Philadelphia jagoffs won their second Super Bowl. Great job, guys!

On Sunday afternoon, my squad were assigned to Philadelphia's City Hall. You'd think that would be a good gig, but it's Philadelphia, arguably the worst city in America.

I arrvied at 2pm, although we weren't supposed to arrive at 4pm. I wanted to get a parking spot where my car wouldn't be destroyed. You see, I was promoted in 2005, and every single time some jackass sports team in Philadelphia came close to a championship, my squad was always - ALWAYS - the ones that had to go to these "celebrations" and we were always the ones who got injured or were the ones that drunken girls claimed we assaulted them.

We were stationed at City Hall - it was a 12 hour shift - 4pm through 4am. We were supposed to secure the Mariott Hotel, the Masonic Temple, and City Hall. It was a pretty good gig. Well, until a female captain decided we needed to leave our location and go into the anarchy.

The officers were supposed to be doing the grunt work, and we would process those who were arrested. The female captain told me to be part of the riot patrol. Since I didn't have a riot helmet, or anything other than my pistol, that wasn't going to do any good.

The captain ordered me to do this, and this happened right when the riots started. Everyone in Philadelphia started walking down every street near City Hall, and it took them about five minutes for us to realize we lost the entire part of City Hall. Hell, these jackasses stole a pole and walked around with it. That was our section, but our betters thought it would be better to leave City Hall.

Oh, did I mention the guy who had a giant, well it looked like an M-80, and exploded it a foot away from where I was standing? Yesterday was difficult because I still had ringing in my ears. Shortly after that happened, the jackasses started lighting fireworks and sending them - take a guess - at us.

I have been told that my squad will have to go to the Eagles parade. As always, it's us, and never anyone else.