Iowa Woman Busted On Lawn Mower OUI Rap

An Iowa woman whose driver’s license is suspended due to a conviction for driving her SUV while under the influence of meth has again been busted for operating a moving vehicle while impaired, according to court records.

Meet Michelle Hudson, an obviously lunatic who was driving a Lawn Mower while meth.

While her breath test registered under the legal limit, Hudson was “believed to be on a drug,” cops reported.

Hudson, who refused to provide a urine sample, was arrested for operating under the influence and driving while barred, both of which are aggravated misdemeanors. Hudson is being held without bond in the county jail in advance of an initial court appearance.

It's a shame, since when you look at this woman, you won't think if she is a female or a meth junkie.

"That's Just What Girls Do," Said Accused Florida Woman, 51

When confronted about messages threatening death to a male acquaintance, a Florida Woman gave police a bizarre explanation for her 3 AM texts.

“That’s just what girls do,” said Tammy Baldino.

Police charge that Baldino texted the 51-year-old victim “I will kill you” and “I have a gun and a bullet with your name on it.” Police recovered the texts from Baldino’s phone, which she reportedly said nobody else used and of which she had sole possession.

She seems like a nice woman.

Arrested yesterday on a pair of felony counts, Baldino, 51, was booked into the Pinellas County jail. The Palm Harbor resident is locked up in lieu of $20,000 bond. At the time of her arrest, Baldino was free on bond in an earlier case charging her with DUI and unlawful possession of nitrous oxide. Her $5500 bond in that matter was revoked today.

Police: Nemo Was Found Engaging In Some Lewd Pantless Activity

Children, avert your eyes.

A Florida tattoo artist is behind bars after being allegedly spotted outside an apartment building at 2:30 AM “with his pants down inserting a sex toy in his anus,” police report.

Jonathan Nemeth, 44, was arrested for indecent exposure early yesterday morning and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor rap.

Cops say that a victim took a photo of Nemeth “exposing himself in a vulgar manner.” When confronted by St. Petersburg police, Nemeth reportedly “admitted to exposing himself ” outside the Essex Court complex where he resides.

According to court and Florida Department of Corrections records, Nemeth served more than a decade in state prison for narcotics possession, armed robbery, and fraud convictions.

Tinder "Sugar Baby" Deal Goes Really Sour

A “sugar baby” arrangement went sour when a young woman who apparently wanted nothing to do with the string attached fled the home of a Florida Man who then gave chase in his truck, rammed into her vehicle, and pulled a gun on her friend, police report.

Wow, some crazy man with a firearm rammed into her vehicle.

According to investigators, David O’Brien, 67, met the 21-year-old woman this month on the Tinder dating app. During a subsequent exchange of messages, O’Brien explained that he was “looking for a sugar baby” and would pay “$1000 each visit...dinner and I love to shop for you.

“The defendant then attempted to locate the other victims briefly until he heard law enforcement arriving,” the report states. When deputies arrived at the scene, O’Brien was “at his F150 with the gun in his possession.” The woman and her three friends, cops reported, all “stated that they were in fear for their lives.

Seen above, David O’Brien was arrested on five felony charges: aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and four counts of aggravated battery. He is being held in lieu of $90,000 bond in the Sumter County jail.

Enjoy your stay in jail. Dumbass.

Naked Woman Was Driving With Guns, Drugs...

A completely naked Mississippi woman was driving erratically in a car containing marijuana and illegally modified firearms when she was pulled over late Sunday evening, according to police.

During the traffic stop in the town of Ellisville (pop. 4652), police discovered that driver Katelyn Maxwell, 22, was unencumbered by any clothing. Maxwell, who was alone in the 2017 Dodge Challenger--which reeked of pot--appeared to be under the influence, investigators reported.

A search of the vehicle turned up a Glock handgun at Maxwell’s feet and another Glock wedged between the passenger seat and center console. In the trunk, cops found a third Glock and two AR-15 rifles, one of which appeared to have been outfitted with a “switch” that would make it fully automatic.

Seen above, Maxwell was arrested on an assortment of felony and misdemeanor counts for which she is locked up in the Jones County jail in lieu of $35,000 bond.

I wonder how long Katelyn Maxwell will be in jail.

Sorry About The Blogging, It Was A Mess Lately

Yesterday, I was taking down the washing when I fell down the steps.

I was holding the lanudry when I fell two steps.

The missus is still dealing with her procedure, so I said I would take the washer.

I fell very hard, and at the end of the mess, a table was on top of me.

It wasn't fun, and my kneecaps were a bloody mess.

Sorry about the couple days.

Woman Goes From Choke Slam To Slammer

Angered about her girlfriend “not wanting to be sexual this morning,” a Florida Woman allegedly strangled the victim and performed a WWE-style chokeslam before grabbing a pair of scissors and chasing her partner out of their home, police report.

Tykia Sherman, 32, was arrested Sunday on multiple felony charges related to a violent confrontation last month in her St. Petersburg residence.

Tykia Sherman is not exactly the woman that men would want to see, but hey, she's trying.

The 31-year-old victim told police that after she declined to engage in sexual activity, Sherman “became upset” and shoved her against a wall and struck her numerous times. The woman added that Sherman then choked her and slammed her onto a couch.

She seems like she could jump into the WWE.

Shudder.

Woman Denied Owning Coke In Her Butt

A Florida Woman who denied ownership of the bag of cocaine that fell from her buttocks while being booked into custody told jailers that the drug must have been placed there during an “intimate encounter” with an unnamed partner.

During a traffic stop Saturday, Reagan Cox, 30, allegedly resisted a Brevard County sheriff’s deputy, resulting in her arrest on a misdemeanor charge.

Cox, seen at right, was transported to the local jail, a brief drive from her residence in Rockledge, a city on Florida’s Space Coast.

During the jail intake process, Cox had to pass through an X-ray scanner, which is used to spot contraband like weapons, phones, or drugs.

When jailers detected an anomaly in Cox’s “lower region,” she was brought to a room where she was subsequently seen “trying to cover her buttocks area with her hand.”

Upon moving her hand, a baggie containing 3.8 grams of cocaine fell from Cox’s rear end. With the coke at her feet, Cox denied knowing anything about the drug. She speculated that somebody must have placed the narcotics inside her during a sexual encounter.

Well done, dumbass.

Two Kentuckians Are Facing Felony Charges Which Was "Totes Not Full Of Drugs."

Two Kentuckians are facing felony charges after a search of their car turned up narcotics, some of which were inside a bag carrying the misspelled assurance, “Deffntely not a bag full full of drugs.”

Tricia Croley, 51, and Damon Bennett, 48, were collared by a Laurel County Sheriff’s Office detective who looked into their parked car and spotted “a plastic baggie which contained suspected narcotics.”

The investigator subsequently found another bag (seen above) that also held narcotics. In addition to drug counts, Croley was charged with providing police with a fake ID, while Bennett was found to have outstanding arrest warrants.

Hmm, wonder is they got to start smoking before they were arrested.

Dumbasses.

Inmate Cops To Smuggling Wine In Vagina

Recognizing that the 12.5% proof was in the pudding, a Michigan woman yesterday pleaded guilty to trying to smuggle into jail wine that was hidden inside her body, according to court records.

Before its discovery, the unopened bottle of Cupcake Vineyards Pinot Grigio was stored inside the vagina of Monique Megchiani, 48, who was arrested last month for trespassing at a CVS pharmacy in Grand Traverse.

Appearing Wednesday in Circuit Court, Megchiani copped to a felony contraband count that carries a maximum five-year prison sentence. In return for her guilty plea, prosecutors have agreed to drop several other charges.

Following her bust, Megchiani was handcuffed, checked for weapons, and put into a squad car. “During this time,” a cop reported, “Megchiani advised that she was not able to get into the vehicle. After some convincing, Megchiani was able to slowly maneuver herself into the backseat.”

Sorry about this. Not that I was late for a blog today, but the "woman" I had to see. Yikes!