Meet Kaylyn Blain, She Really Likes Pickles

When officers arrived on the scene, “there were pickles and pickle juice scattered across the apartment.”

And Kaylyn Blain’s “boyfriend and co-habitant” had a knot on the top of his head where she allegedly had clobbered him with a glass jar of the briny delicacy.

According to police, Blain, 32, and the 34-year-old victim argued Monday morning about the cleanliness of their Clearwater, Florida apartment. Blain and the man have dated for six years and are parents of a two-year-old girl.

After being accused of “making the mess,” Blain reportedly got agitated and grabbed the glass jar of pickles from which she had been noshing (around 10 AM).

Blain then allegedly struck the victim in the head with the jar, resulting in the pickle splatter observed by police.

One wonders where she holds her pickles.

Someone Got The Tiger

Tiger Woods told cops that he was looking down at his cell phone moments before the rollover crash that resulted in his arrest on DUI charges, according to a police report filed today.

Cops allege that the “lethargic” Woods, 50, failed a series of roadside sobriety tests and showed signs of impairment following the March 27 crash near his residence on Jupiter Island, Florida.

I love golf, and Woods was one of my favorite, but at this point, I think Tiger should toss your clubs into the water.

It's a disgrace that he even shows his face in public.

A Man Was Arrested Who Was Playing As An Easter Bunny

A New Jersey man is behind bars for allegedly groping the Easter Bunny at a Pennsylvania shopping center.

According to police, Shivakrishna Bera, 36, was at the South Hills Village Mall in Pittsburgh on Monday when he approached the area where a woman dressed as the Easter Bunny was posing for photos.

A New Jersey man. That figures.

Bera was subsequently arrested inside a movie theater near the mall. When questioned by officers about the Easter Bunny incident, Bera reportedly asked, “It’s a doll, right?” When told a person was inside the costume, Bera said, “By mistake, my hand touched her, if it’s a lady.”

I assume Shivakrishna Bera will be having fun with his giant friend in his jail.

For Those Who Haven't Seen It...

I retired from the Philadelphia Police on November.

When I came home, Missus Banzai wanted me to look for more work.

I wanted to chill for a while, and Missus Banzai went back to an elementary school.

She wanted to go back to teaching, and after a while I really loved staying at home.

I'd take the kids to school, I did the washing, and try to do things to fix the house.

After a while, I suggested that I stay at home, and since my pension is ridiculous, that's where we are now.

We finally found how much they give you, thanks to the thirty years I gave to Philadelphia.

Amazing, how much the department gives you so much after when you finally realize how much they gave to us.

Police Summoned To Handle A Sticky Bun Dispute.

Domestic disputes that require police intervention are never a laughing matter.

Unless, of course, two siblings are threatening to kill each other over “who ate the last sticky bun.”

Police responded Monday afternoon to a Williamsport, Pennsylvania residence to handle “a domestic in progress, no weapons, no intoxication,” according to dispatch audio.

Williamsport, Pennsylvania - ovbiously - the siblings fought - for a sticky bun.

Amazingly the two could not get through the dispute, probably because they were too stupid to figure to slice the bun.

Mr. Sticky’s offers several varieties, including a cinnamon bun “topped with our special and delectable cream cheese icing” that clearly would be worth fighting over.

Idiots.

Well, I Wish This Was Better, But...

I have always been a fan of the current president and the vice-president.

The people in Washington always sent three or four times sent to my phone.

The people in the White House started sending more nonsense, and since my wife is dealing with problems, I didn't want the constant nonsense from stupid stuff I don't want to see.

Two people in a White House were constantly sending things I did not want to hear. My wife has serious problems.

Both people in the White House continued sending these, every three or four times. I finally lost it and said,

"My wife has internal problems, and you people continually ignore this!"

I assume I'll be getting problems over this, but my wife is better than politics.

You Might See On The Right Where It Says The Tip Jar...

Now, I'm pretty sure no one ever gave something for the Tip Jar.

That's fine.

Hell, I was giving out my book for free, just to see if anyone thought the book was good. So, when people yell at me for not doing blogs. I guess what I usually say...

After thirty years of death, shootings, terrible supervisors, I decided to retire.

So now, I stay in my house. I take the kids to school, I'm a decent washer and dryer, and when I am not at the gym, I am going out for groceries, filling up the missus car, and do what I can at home.

It's literally the best place to be in our home.

Since Someone Had A Problem With Lack Of Blogs...

For those who said my lack of blogs, taks a look at the blogs. No one is looking at the blogs anymore.

The missus was in the hospital, and it wasn't fun for her.

And since I am retired, and the missus is working at an elementry school, it's difficult to get blogs quickly.

Since I am gone from the police department, I have other items to do.

I take the kids to school, I do the wash - doing so right now - I took the missus car and filled her tank.

There are things I like to do, just because, I go to the gym three days every day.

I will start posting blogs, and if you like it or not, I'll start blogs by next week.

Perta Vlhova, One Of The More Beautiful Slovak Ski Racers In The World.

Perta is a Slovak - love them - and she is an alpine ski racer.

Since I have always said I would love to go there, to see where my grandparents before coming to America.

If nothing else, she is very pretty. Crazy pretty.

Cori Theisse, One Of The Best Curling Female Ever Played

Cori, like the rest of their curling has been destroying other countries, and they love it.

Yesterday, they had a sad loss from Italy, but they came back today with a terrific crush against of Denmark, winning 10-3.

All four women are amazing, and Cori is definitely someone guys would want to see her.