He Wasn't Sure If He was Coming Or Going

Meet Kenneth Lee Kelly of Iowa City, Iowa. Kenneth was arrested after he decided to yank his doodle, it's a dandy outside a Kun & Go store.

An Iowa man has pleaded guilty to pleasuring himself outside a Kum & Go convenience store, according to court records. After completing the lewd activity, Kenneth Lee Kelly, 55, departed for his nearby Iowa City residence, police charged.

Well, he certainly had to change his under clothings.

In a written plea, Kelly, seen at right, recently copped to indecent exposure, a “serious misdemeanor.” A sentencing hearing has been set for August 15 at the Iowa City courthouse to “give the victim(s) the opportunity to attend and/or present a victim impact statement.”

Oh, would I love to hear Kenneth's idiotic reason for his lewd shenanigans outside a convenience store.

When questioned by police, Kelly--whose rap sheet includes theft and narcotics convictions--“claimed he wasn’t exposing himself,” but instead was just “scratching his genitals,” cops said.

Yeah, I can't tell you how often I "scratch my genitals" in public spaces.