Considering the issues President Trump has dealt with, I thought I would send a resume to him when he wins - God willing - the 2024 presidential election.
Now why would I even consider a position in the White House. Well, that's fairly easy. I'm a fairly decent shot with firearms, I am brutally honest about myself. I barely got out of Saint Joseph's University, I was always an average athlete. I was a pretty good lacrosse player and a better lacrosse coach, I was a mediocre ice hockey player, and a pretty good runner. Oh, I also like golf, but I am terrible at it.
Unlike a certain lying president, I don't lie every time I open my mouth. I wouldn't swim naked in front of female aides - believe me, no one wants to see that - and if asked, I would be completely honest with my superiors.
That said, I would occasionally ask if Diet Mountain Dew is in the cafeteria, and if so. well, I'd probably work for free. Oh, and I guess I should put it out there that I would not be shooting drugs in the Oval Office.
Oh, I would most likely drool at the occasional celebrity - looking at you Salma - but I would never ask her out.
So, there's my play. Send me to the White House, and trust me, I will never screw over President Trump.
P.S. - This is apropos of nothing, but I am down to 172 pounds. The prostate scare forced me to get in really good shape.
Aren't you already a referee and executive vice president for BattleBots, not to mention that cop thing you've got going.
ReplyDeleteThey don't pay me enough. :) Oh, I was granted another year of policing. They're giving people an extra year, and they're tossing us a ton of money for it. So, I'm done on November 2, 2025.
DeleteCongratulations! Be certain to plan on what you'll do when you do finally retire. Have specifics in mind.
DeleteI'm thinking about college security. Thirty-one years in policing should be enough to get a job there.
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