Britney Loses Custody

I hadn't been this shocked since Janeane Garofalo stated she didn't like President Bush!

LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears' continuing downward spiral took a devastating turn Monday when she was ordered to relinquish custody of her children by a judge who had cited her drug-and-alcohol-fueled lifestyle.

Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled that that ex-husband Kevin Federline will take Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, beginning Wednesday "until further order of the court."

Last month, Gordon said Spears engaged in "habitual, frequent and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol" and ordered her to undergo random drug and alcohol testing twice a week as part of her ongoing custody dispute with Federline. (H/T - Yahoo!)

This is a stellar ruling, and not simply because the woman gives white trash a bad name. It's a good ruling because:

• She was only days away from selling the kids for whiskey.
• There's only one person in America that hasn't seen her sans panties.
• Her next "big gig" was going to be cover girl for Swank Magazine.
  

I'd like to think that this is the shining moment where Britney turns her life around, but I'm afraid the next time we see her, she'll have already blown her brains out.