Thursday, August 04, 2005

Justifiable Homicide?

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (AP) A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer. Christopher Offord, 30, was sentenced Wednesday by Circuit Judge Dedee Costello, who said the brutality of the crime outweighed any mental problems Offord may have had.

The defendant struck his wife approximately 70 individual blows after spending a happy interlude with her,” the judge said. “Her desire to cuddle after sex does not justify the extremely violent, brutal response of the defendant.”

Offord pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the 2004 slaying of Dana Noser, 40, at his apartment. He confessed to a bartender at a sports bar before his arrest. He told investigators that his wife had been nagging him to come back to bed. Offord did not speak in court but said in a jailhouse interview in June: “I figured I killed her so I deserve to die.”

Too many factors are not represented in this article. I mean, was it just sports, or was it the playoffs? If the only thing on the tube was curling, then maybe the guy could have sucked it up and cuddled for a few moments. But, if it were the NFL playoffs, maybe sugar pie should have understood. Okay, striking her seventy times with a claw hammer may seem excessive, but . . .


  1. Thankfully my wife has learned a few things... (no, not the 'hard' way)

    Do not mess with me during:
    -NFL playoffs (despite Buffalo's woes over the last couple years)

    -March Madness (Syracuse always has a shot, unless they're highly favored in the first round, then they choke)

    -NHL playoffs (not an issue this year)

    -MLB Postseason (the Yankees always have a shot)

    -the Cheerleading Championships on ESPN 2... uhhh... no dog in that hunt... just a casual observer.

  2. 70 times? Wow, someone's got anger management issues!

  3. Peakah - Agreed on all counts. GO Yankees!

    Kate - Nah, he's just misunderstood. (Like you wouldn't hit me 70 times with a hammer if I interrupted hockey!)

  4. Sounds like he took that old phrase all wrong- "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" shouldn't involve a hammer.

    I totally understand how men can want to watch sports above anything else, including sex or cuddling. It makes perfect sense. It's much much better to watch a bunch of overgrown male children play games and get sweaty with each other than to get naked and sweaty with your own wife/girlfriend/sheep (for men from Montana).

    One moment please, I need to wipe all that sarcasm off my keys before I continue...

    My ex-husband used to prefer watching hockey over going to bed. That's one of many reasons why he's the ex-husband. Husband #2 is much smarter than his predecessor.

  5. If I had to WATCH hockey I ASK to be hit 70 times with a claw hammer!

  6. cove,

    Tsk. Tsk. I'm so disappointed in your. That hurt!

    Hockey is the ONLY sport that matters! One day you'll see the light and agree with me! :p

  7. Billy - Actually, sex always comes BEFORE sports. It's the cuddling that some guys run from. I LOVE hockey, but sex, well, there's a new thing out called TiVo.

    BTW, very sarcastic. I love it!

    Cove - BLASPHEMY!!!

  8. no yall,

    It's all good cuz I have a woman who loves Football herself, plus she's a Cowboys fan so she completely owns my ass cuz we all know what happened to my team in the late nineties...

    Now I'm reminded of Jim Kelly's kid and that's a total buzzkill...

    Sorry wyatt, drunk drivin on the internet... is that a crime... yet?

  9. Peakah - What, are you kidding??? Ninety percent of my posts are typed while I'm drunk!!! Mmm . . . Jameson's!

  10. I knew I was in good company!


  11. See, the ex was Canadian, so hockey was #1 with sex a distant... uh 10th? Somewhere way down there, for sure, eh.

    I seem to have lucked out this time- hubby will take any opportunity to squeeze me, occasionally with octopus-like tenacity. Guess that explains the baby...