Thursday, August 04, 2005

The More You Know . . .

As a popular, multi-talented Blogger, I am always getting hounded for personal information from my adoring fans. Usually, I brush off their requests, kick them to the curb, and notify my posse (aka CUG, Damian, and Tyler D). But not today. Today I will open up and give the public another scary glimpse into my professional life. Enter if you dare.

One of the funniest jobs I ever handled involved a drunk, a bridge, and a silver bullet. I'll write that one up soon enough.

Every Philadelphia police officer has to qualify annually with their service weapon. Here are my career pistol range scores: 94, 98, 94, 97, 98, 95, 94, 99, 100, and 98. Not bad, but SWAT won't be calling me anytime soon.

Speaking of the pistol range, during recruit training, my line instructor's nickname for me was, in fact, "Wyatt Earp." He said it was because I was a quick draw. Sadly, some of my high school girlfriends said the same thing. (Insert rim shot here.)

The first homicide I encountered occurred on my fourth day on the street. It happened at Rosehill and Cambria Streets, and the victim was shot in the chest. He went into cardiac arrest as I was pulling him out of his vehicle. I'll never forget his face as long as I live.

I never shot at anyone, but I came very close once. I responded to a call for a rape in progress in the Juniata section of the city. It was about four in the morning. My backup and I arrived at the same time, and saw a man pressed against a woman in an alleyway. The woman was whimpering. We drew our pistols and commanded the man to step back. He wouldn't. We told him again, and he moved one of his hands towards his pocket. I realized that I was taking the slack out of my trigger, and was deciding if I would have to fire. My backup told the man to stop moving, or we would stop him. The next instant, the woman spoke up. She said that the man was her boyfriend, and they were "having a spat." The man then showed us his hands, and stepped away. I relaxed, holstered, and looked for a change of underwear.


  1. I'm beginning to think that they need to issue depends Wyatt. First!

  2. There sure is a lot of underpants talk 'round here lately, isn't there?

  3. What is with not listening to the guy pointing the gun at you?

    Wow, Wyatt. I don't envy you your job. But I'm glad people like you and my brother are there to do it!!!

  4. It would have been all I could do not to shoot the guy. That's why I'm not a cop.

  5. CUG your right!! There are 2 guns pointed at me and they say get your hands up... My hands are going up!!!

    Stay safe Wyatt.

  6. CUG - Because people are idiots. He was damn lucky he didn't get killed.

    Tyler D - Too much paperwork, or I would have fired.

    Steve - Agreed. Mine are going up, too.