It's A Nice Day For A Wet Wedding

The happy participants: Michelle, Kevin, and Heather.

Wyatt's Three Weddings in Eight Days Tour 2005 reached a soggy conclusion yesterday with the wedding of my cousin Kevin and his lovely bride Michelle. The ceremony was supposed to be held outside the Joseph Ambler Inn in Horsham, Pa (swank, swank), but since the area has been hit with non-stop rain and flooding since Friday, that scenario was doubtful. Then again . . .

As we pulled up to the Inn, we noticed that there were chairs and a gazebo outside. This can't be right. It's raining horizontally!!! Nevertheless, the show did go on. (We realized that the wedding area had canopies to keep us – more or less – dry.) The one hundred or so guests were treated to a speedy marriage ceremony straight out of "Spaceballs:"

Pastor: "Do you?"

Kevin: "Yes."

Pastor: "Do you?"

Michelle: "Yes."

Pastor: "Good. You're married."

They'll kill me for this, but the funniest part of the ceremony occurred when the pastor asked for the rings. Unfortunately, they weren't available. Kevin asked Michelle if she had them – their only bridal party was Kevin's young daughter, Heather - and she gave him the look of doom. Not missing a beat, Michelle said aloud, "We'll just pretend." And they did. That's the kind of woman Michelle is, smart, witty, and (as we later found out) very handy: she made her own wedding dress! What the hell she's doing with Kevin we'll never know.

Congratulations, guys!