“And I ran . . . I ran so far away” – A Flock of Seagulls
Here’s a proposition for any 2008 Presidential Candidate: write a five hundred word essay explaining, in detail, what you plan to do with the escalating Iran crisis. Since neither Democrats nor Republicans seem to be too “Bully for Bush” at the moment, this is your chance to lay out your foreign policy agenda. Go ahead, enlighten us with your massive brain matter and show the American people how better a job you would do than the current administration. I dare you.
In between playing PlayStation 2 and watching American Chopper, I saw an interesting story on Fox News which explained what the hell is happening in Tehran. Not only are they going forward with their nuclear energy plans, but they are also now looking into fiddling around with plutonium. Long story short: they are intent on initiating a nuclear weapons program.
Okay, dear candidates, this may not be of the utmost importance to the good old U.S.A. right now, but considering Iran’s new president was a major player in the Iran Hostage incident of 1979, and a vocal supporter of the destruction of Israel, how long do you think it’ll take him to turn his guns on us? Many of you have criticized President Bush for initiating a War on Terror, as well as his decision to invade Iraq and Afghanistan. Now we’re dealing with a madman who has promised to wipe Israel off the face of the earth.
Pop quiz, hotshots: you have a madman with nuclear capability and an itchy trigger finger. What do you do? What do you do?
Have your essays on my desk first thing in the morning.
What do you do?
ReplyDeleteI know!!!
Appease him!
Play nice! Start a dialog.
Ooooh! How about a committee?
Maybe a listening tour!! Yeh!
Vote for me!
(Or maybe we should just nuke them FIRST!!!.... Heh.)
I wish I could start selling stupid bracelets with the WWUND (what would United Nations do?)on them. I think I could make a fortune at anti-war rallies.
ReplyDeleteplutonium? Well they need fuel for the flux capicitor. What is the big deal?
ReplyDeleteIsrael had the right idea in the 80's when they slammed a few missles into their nuclear silo...
ReplyDelete...how about strapping Sean Penn to one of them this time...
Liked all of these comments especially dr. phat tony's.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a solution for Iran I just know we need to do something. And that would not include a Jimmy Carter/Clinton appeasement philosophy.
Mushroom clouds over Tehran.
ReplyDeleteFour words. That's what you call terse.
Nukem.
ReplyDeleteSeveral hundred times.
I'm with you guys.. if you'd just substitute Jimmy Carter for Sean Penn. I think he's deranged and even more dangerous.
ReplyDeleteEarpy, in case you haven't noticed, your friends don't seem to think that sending them Girl Scout Cookies will help;)
Uh, I'd shoot the guy he is holding as a sheild in front of him? ha ha!
ReplyDeleteDoc, they could be white as a sign of surrender!
I think CUG was channelling Kerry for a minute there.
nuke em.
Blast them back to the stone age. Ooops....my bad....they are already there.
ReplyDeleteSeriously...I've wondered where the uproar over this has been, too. Send in the double-secret undercover types to sabotage (sp?) EVERYTHING!!!!
How long does the essay have to be? Do I have to include internal citations?
CUG - Appeasement shouldn't be in our collective dictionaries.
ReplyDeleteDoc - I'd buy one!
The Man - Thanks, Marty!
Peak - Don't be surprised if Israel does it again. God bless those Israelis!
LMC - I think that we would have support of a lot fo their citizenry. They're not stupid, just oppressed. They look at Iraq's freedom and say, "We want some of that!"
Prof - Well played.
Anti-Hippie - Agreed.
Ty - Right. I mean, we have all those missiles going to waste.
SK - That's what I was counting on . . . bloodlust.
Sssteve (er, Keanu) - The white bracelet idea is terrific.
RT - Because Carter eliminated our capacity to assassinate foreign leaders. What an asshat!
"What do you do with a madman with nukes and an itchy trigger finger"? You elect him President of the USA and watch everyone want to nuke you first.
ReplyDeleteBush Hater - Oh yeah, I remember the good old days; those great days when everyone loved America. I remember walking down the streets of Tehran in ’79 with impunity (Carter). I remember standing in the basement of the World Trade Center in ’93 without a care in the world (Clinton). Hell, I even remember strolling down the streets of Mogadishu, Somalis later that same year and proudly announcing that I am an American (Clinton again). Yep, the days when everyone loved the United States were a great time to be alive.
ReplyDelete