Edgar Stiles
CTU’s calorically-challenged chimpanzee would have been fired from a real government position years ago. Of course, if he worked in Philadelphia, he would be mayor by now. At one moment, Edgar is tracking Islamo-fascist terrorists. The next moment, he is whimpering like a Dr. Phil guest about his multitude of personal, psychological, and pasta problems. Like Terrell Owens, Edgar is pretty talented when he is focused on his game. Unfortunately, like Terrell Owens, Edgar is a major head case. He is a true enigma: a mystery, wrapped inside a riddle, wrapped inside a Twinkie.
Audrey Raines
Jack Bauer’s love interest from last season has got a terrific body, but as my friend Brian would say, “She’s beat in the face.” Combine that with her piss-poor disposition, and her catty attitude toward Diana (Jack’s gal pal this season), and you have the makings of a first-rate bitch. Don’t cry for Jack, Audrey-tina; you had your chance.
CTU Security
These flunkies are a prime example of how far one can get with a GED. On their watch the wife of a murdered agent shot and killed terrorist Stephen Saunders; Nina Meyers held Kim Bauer hostage inside a computer room; and an inept hit man murdered a clinic doctor and tried to kill Jack. These buffoons are about as aware of their surroundings as the “stunned” sheriff who led Oswald to Jack Ruby. And who designed the uniforms? Red shirts? Do these people double as bartenders?
(Cross-posted on Blogs4Bauer.)
You're far more creative than I. I am still seething at Joel Stein and the retard at Northwestern who wrote this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailynorthwestern.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/01/24/43d5caa5c2577
(sorry - I have no idea how to make links in comments)
AFW - Joel Stein is simply trying to garner some attention to his newspaper - a medium which is dying a slow death. Don't give him the satisfaction. he's an idiot.
ReplyDeleteUuh, pain must make you mean!
ReplyDelete"Beat in the face?"
ReplyDeleteI guess your right.
Also, are these the maroons who are doing the background checks on CTU employees? How many moles have they let through now?
ReplyDeleteLin - And I was just about to throw everyone a curveball and post a PIL (People I Like). Maybe next week.
ReplyDeleteTy - Yeah. She may be hot, but she doesn't come off that way in the show.
Tony - CTU has had more moles than a Cindy Crawford lookalike contest.
Red shirts? Uniforms? Could it be symbolism? Maybe they have some "bloods" writing for them or something and they had to represent.
ReplyDeletecrosscommented on at Blogs4Bauer.
ReplyDeleteJack rode in on Edgar and threw his keys at the CTU security guys and told them to park it close.
Rt - Word, chica!
ReplyDeleteThe Man - And it was damned funny there, too!