As you may or may not know by now, the entire East Coast got its collective ass kicked today by Old Man Winter. Philadelphia is expected to be buried under at least a foot of snow, but some of us had to make it in to work this morning. After driving an hour through the drifts, I had more than enough material for a supplemental PIH. Enjoy!
Municipal Snow Plow Drivers
My neighbors and I barely know what a snow plow looks like, since there are no local politicians living on my block, but I have seen a few on the highways. Every time one of these metal beasts drives by, I want to punch the drivers in the back of the head. Why? Because Philly snow plows are always categorized in one of two ways: driving slower than Miss Daisy, or stopped outside the local convenience stores. Either way, those of us who have to make it in to work – no matter what the weather – don’t need two-ton trucks impeding our progress. Lead or get out of the way, jerkasses!
Private Snow Plow Drivers
These morons need to be shot on sight. They scamper about, trying to make a buck, when the rest of the public is trying not to swerve off the road. I see these guys all the time, laughing at us as they drive by WITH THEIR PLOWS RAISED! Look, I know you are the perfect capitalists, but when you get to a street that is snowed in, does it really cost you anything to drop the plow and help some people out? I didn’t think so. Hell, if you did that once in a while, you might not make PIH.
The Walkers
It’s bad enough when you have to drive into work in a blizzard, but when you have to avoid people walking in the middle of the street as well; it makes for a very hateful day. I was driving down a fairly large street, and all of the sudden I see a couple walking in the tire tracks! It was 6am. Who needs to be walking the streets at 6am??? Even the whores took the night off. I guess these two rocket scientists didn’t want their pants to get snow-covered.
I thought when I bought my house that having the police station at the corner might make for quicker snow plowing.
ReplyDeleteInstead, I'm last on the list it seems. We've had squad cars wreck trying to get out of the station on bad days, but the plows don't seem to make it there until the end.
As for the walking idiots, just hit them. You can claim break failure on the ice and no one will be the wiser.
There is something called contributory negligence. If they are in the middle of the street...oops, they ran into your car!
ReplyDeleteTake heart Wyatt; If I had the money for a huge truck with a plow, I'd plow for free here and there...especially for people I knew might not be able to afford it and might be too infirmed to shovel. But I don't, so I can't. I'm hoping for a snow day!
This post totally cracked me up and then Crazy made me laugh too!!
ReplyDeleteWe live on a huge hill and even though the plow station (or whatever you call them) is real close they always make it to our street last. Ugh.... I don't go anywhere when it snows.
What's snow?
ReplyDeleteOur snowplow guys have a federal contract... So they show up about a week later.
ReplyDeleteThey do love to hide our cars behind a huge wall of snow, though. Hubby was cursing as he dug a tunnel out this morning. I think he said something like "oh googly moogly," but it might have been considerably worse.
"oh googly moogly" LOL
ReplyDeleteSorry Earpy, I'm just too jealous of your accumulation to feel too sorry for ya today. ;)