Saturday, July 15, 2006

Firsssst On My Shite List

In a recent post, Ssssteve from First With Flair referred to yours truly as “fat” and “balding.” Ssssteve, you son of a bitch, I AM NOT BALDING!!! Since SYLG is considered the Israel of blogs, retaliation will be swift and brutal. I present to you . . .

Top Ten Filthy Half-Truths About Ssssteve

10. While the rest of the world is watching “24,” Ssssteve watches reruns of “Moesha.”
9. Ssssteve writes his name that way because he talks (and spells) with a lisp.
8. After going two minutes without food, Ssssteve chewed his brother’s fingers off.
7. Ssssteve’s favorite performer? Liza!
Ssssteve gets his kicks at work by shutting off old folks’ heat in December.
5. After walking around Oregon shirtless, Ssssteve was mistaken for Sasquatch.
4. Ssssteve’s love for John Lennon broke up The Beatles.
3. Ssssteve wrote and produced the upcoming film, “Little Man.”
2. Ssssteve cheats at golf . . . badly. He adds strokes to his score.

And the number one filthy half-truth about Ssssteve is . . .

1. Ssssteve once had a three-way with Helen Thomas and Ruth Ginsberg.


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1!1!!

    Man, and I though I was the only one up this late. That was hilarious. BURRRRRRRN!!!!

  2. What? Phyllis Diller wasn't available for the three-way?

  3. Remind me to stay on your good side...

  4. Definitely only 1/2 truths here. Especially about the cheating at golf. You got one part right, but he doesn't add strokes to his score.

    From one who knows...

  5. rt, she wasn't available because she was at your place!

    Andy, you suck!

    Wyatt, Ohhh it is sooo on!

  6. You puny Earthlings and your obsession with having hair and losing hair. With my species we only have hair in places you do not talk about in polite company. Which is why we find your appearance so amusing.

  7. Sorry, Steve....I don't swing that way. I like men; thus, why you have never been asked to visit. :P

  8. Ssssteve gets his kicks at work by shutting off old folks’ heat in December.

    Ted Kennedy does this to get tax hikes in Massachusetts.

  9. Having known Sssteve all 27 years of my life, I can personaly vouch for all ten of these great truths and more. But I have to agree with Andy because Sssteve is the only one that can take three tee shots and still end up with a par!

  10. Wyatt, there is nothing wrong with being half-balding. I should know... that's where I am.