Firsssst On My Shite List

In a recent post, Ssssteve from First With Flair referred to yours truly as “fat” and “balding.” Ssssteve, you son of a bitch, I AM NOT BALDING!!! Since SYLG is considered the Israel of blogs, retaliation will be swift and brutal. I present to you . . .

Top Ten Filthy Half-Truths About Ssssteve

10. While the rest of the world is watching “24,” Ssssteve watches reruns of “Moesha.”
9. Ssssteve writes his name that way because he talks (and spells) with a lisp.
8. After going two minutes without food, Ssssteve chewed his brother’s fingers off.
7. Ssssteve’s favorite performer? Liza!
6. Ssssteve gets his kicks at work by shutting off old folks’ heat in December.
5. After walking around Oregon shirtless, Ssssteve was mistaken for Sasquatch.
4. Ssssteve’s love for John Lennon broke up The Beatles.
3. Ssssteve wrote and produced the upcoming film, “Little Man.”
2. Ssssteve cheats at golf . . . badly. He adds strokes to his score.

And the number one filthy half-truth about Ssssteve is . . .

1. Ssssteve once had a three-way with Helen Thomas and Ruth Ginsberg.