Forget Israel vs. Lebanon. There's a bigger story in town: Lance Bass has come out of the closet! Sarcastic bloggers such as me were giddy at the prospect of terrific material like this:
Top Ten Repercussions of Lance Bass' Outing
10. Tyler D has to tear down all of his posters.
9. Israel has pulled out of Lebanon. Heh, "pulled out."
8. Rachel is now looking elsewhere for a husband.
7. Bartenders now look wary when someone says, "I'll have a Bass."
6. The Moxargon Group has begun their invasion.
5. As a precaution, Justin Timberlake is now bedding every woman he sees.
4. Fmragtops still isn't blogging.
3. Dave at Garfield Ridge has stopped returning Powers Boothe's phone calls.
2. Vinnie Antonelli has a new golfing partner.
And the number onrepercussionon of Lance Bass' outing is . . .
1. Simon Cowell got a bikini wax.
Let me be the FIRST! to say I was just shocked!
ReplyDeleteBoy I don't know, you're out there golfing one minute, you find yourself in the woods asking a guy to help find your balls, next thing you know you're in the news!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say, Vincent, is stay away from those on-course ballwashers.
ReplyDeleteI swear, I was only in it for the money.
ReplyDeleteCan I give Cowell the wax....I'll use extra wax and pull real hard! I'd love to make that irritating boob scream.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about frequency of blogging. I now hold all my boring posts just to once a week to build suspense. Much like Bill Whittle except without really good posts.
ReplyDelete