People I Hate

Rosie O’Donnell

Rosie O’Donnell is living proof that just because you have a gigantic head, it doesn’t mean that you have a gigantic brain. In O’Donnell’s case, her enormous skull is obviously filled with Ring Dings and Boston cream pies. And now that she is spreading her special – that’s “special” as in “Special Olympics” sense – brand of wisdom on America’s favorite yenta-fest, The View, this walking candy apple is stuck on stupid.

O’Donnell’s first appearance on The View was during 9-11, which was ironic that two great tragedies would occur in the same day. While the other three hens were clucking away about the terror attacks, Rosie chimed in with this little tidbit:

“Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam.”

Eh, what? Radical Christianity’s darkest hours were during the Crusades - approximately one thousand years ago. Maybe I missed it, but I don’t remember nineteen nuns hijacking planes with a sharpened crucifix. Perhaps I skipped over the part in The Bible where Jesus said, “Kill everyone who does not believe in me.” But then again, I was never the best student.

Rosie, I know you’re tired and sleepy from all of those ten course meals, but somebody better wake you up right quick. Radical Islam wants you dead – a feeling with which I can sympathize. Radical Christianity just doesn’t want you to marry your longtime companion. Idiot.

Politicians

I know this is a general, all-encompassing subject, but there were too many specific people to name here. For the last week or so, all I heard was that former President Clinton was bitching and moaning that the ABC special “The Path to 9-11” was full of inaccuracies and lies. The fact that the program painted him and his administration in a bad light was surely the cause of the discomfort, but why the hell would he care? For that matter, why would Republicans give a rat’s arse about the alleged inaccuracies in the Ronald Reagan program that aired last year?

“Oh, no, a television writer painted us in a bad light! Whatever will we do?”

Who the hell cares? If there are inaccuracies in the program, don’t watch it. If there aren’t, then deal with your incompetence, and leave the rest of us alone. The Philadelphia television and print media reports inaccurate and unfavorable stories about the police all the time. My solution? At 6pm I watch “Seinfeld.” I don’t threaten the station and I don’t blast the advertisers. Clinton and Reagan fans should follow my lead.