Talk Like Jack Bauer Day!

Today is the first annual Talk Like Jack Bauer Day. If you don't like it, well, you better have a strong threshold for pain. I am going to post this once, and you are going to read it. Why? Because my name is Wyatt Earp, and today is the longest day of my life.

Since I get a perverse pleasure out of playing hockey - the violence is overwhelming - I was unable to watch the first two hours of 24. This is unacceptable, and I am currently "punishing" my teammates with abnormal doses of volts and amps.

My friends told me the episodes were terrific. I don't have time to listen to that nonsense. I told them I was going to make it simple: shut the hell up, or I am going to shoot them in the knee. They understood, and no one has leaked any spoilers.

In the interim, I have disposed of all forms of media in my home. The TV has been shot. The radio thought it could fly - it was wrong - and the newspapers were shredded by Chloe. Nothing and no one will stop me of reaching my goal: catching up on the first four hours of the best show on television.

Now get out of my blog before I do something you will regret.