Radio4Bauer Redux

Break out your man-purse and your "Damnit!" quotes, for tonight we debut a brand new edition of Radio4Bauer (6:30pm, EDT).

Tonight's topics include:

1. A rant about 24 going "Green."

2. The latest news and info on Season 7's delay.

3. The inaugural edition of "Are You Smarter than Kim Bauer?"

You can click on the above link for all of the information and how you can listen to the show online. And remember, if you decide to be a caller, you'll be the first.

UPDATE: Scully of Skywritings was R4B's first-ever caller! See? I told everyone my readers kick ass! Thanks, Scully, and thank you everyone! Also, if you would like to hear the podcast, you can do so by clicking HERE.

Jack Bauer: Hippie?

After this story, I may have to quit Blogs.4Bauer:

From "An Inconvenient Truth" to popularizing the Prius, Hollywood has helped lead the way on some environmental issues. One of the latest initiatives: Cool Change, Fox's company-wide program to reduce the network's impact on global warming. As part of that effort, the seventh season of "24" will take steps to reduce and offset the carbon emissions from the show's production, with the goal of having the season finale be entirely carbon-neutral.

It may sound like a publicity stunt, but Fox spokesman Chris Anderson says the network isn't after bigger ratings. "We are publicizing '24's' commitment to climate change for two reasons and two reasons only: to inspire the public to take global warming seriously and hopefully to motivate other studios to make changes to their production practices as well," he says.

The "24" page at Fox.com now features energy conservation tips and a public service announcement about global warming featuring Kiefer Sutherland; more information will be posted when the show airs in January. Plus, climate change will be incorporated into the series' plot (which just might scare some viewers into taking action). (H/T - Drudge)

After last season's dreadful second half, is this really what the folks at 24 should be worrying about? Maybe working on a stronger plot and a less loathsome and predictable storyline could motivate studios and viewers alike? Even some of my die-hard co-contributors at B4B were admitting that this show has "jumped the shark." So, stop trying to eliminate your carbon emissions, and start having Jack Bauer eliminate terrorists.

In this vein, I'd like to give the creators of 24 a message. Allow me to quote Brick Top from Snatch:

"You're on thin f*cking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, f*ck off."

Radio Daze

Today's the day, kids! Radio4Bauer makes its inauspicious debut tonight at 6:30pm (EDT). Sure, it's not exactly Rush Limbaugh's time slot, but it's a whole lot better than listening to the infomercials about Viagra of the Three-Step Plan, right?

My partner in crime Jim - also seen at bRight & Early - will be kicking of the inaugural program. You can listen live to the show at our R4B Home Page, or, more preferably, call in and participate. Tonight's topic is a recap of the sometimes God-awful Season 6, so if you want to vent, we'll give you the forum to do so.

Also, if you want to come on and tell the world about how Wyatt Earp saved you from blog boredom, we'll take those calls as well. Heh. If I can get home from my former partner's block party before the show, I'll be on the air tonight, too. Y'all can hear my non-existent Philly accent! That's gotta be worth something, right?

Any hoo, if you're a fan of 24, but can't (or won't) call in, at least listen to some of the program on the R4B Home Page. (The show is also available for download as soon as 30 minutes afterward.) Thanks for your support!

UPDATE: Jim pretty much talked for the entire 30 minutes, and Radio4Bauer didn't get even one token phone call. I am completely embarrassed. Jim, I want to apologize, since I didn't get home until 6:50pm. I'll be sure to help you out next time.

Radio4Bauer!

Just when you thought it was safe to surf the airwaves . . .

Jim, my counterpart from Blogs4Bauer, and the driving force behind bRight&Early had an idea today. And, as he explained, it was different than his usual "Dr. Pepper drinking/beer drinking idea." This one was a winner, he claimed.

Thus began the creation of Radio4Bauer. Jim set up a channel for the B4B Crew - I guess that means me as well - at BlogTalkRadio and we may launch the first broadcast as early as this weekend. Since we are between seasons, much of the conversation will center upon a Season 6 wrap-up, and what me be looming ahead for Jack in Season 7.

When you check out the Radio4Bauer link, you will also notice a call-in number. I mean, it's Talk Radio, people!!! Listener participation is encouraged, and with some good word of mouth - and a little luck - we'll be in full swing by the start of Season 7.

And before you start telling people, "Wyatt's going to be famous!," stop right there. It was a fluke that I was invited to blog at B4B in the first place - they were trying to invite Deathlok, but mixed up our addresses - and I am not about to push my luck. The last thing anyone needs is to hear a mental defective who can barely put a sentence together spouting off on the air. I will most likely be the "silent partner."

Besides my only qualifications for this are that I have a "face for radio."

(By the way, Blogs4Bauer is MOVING. Please make a note of it.)

It's Carnival Time!

Break out the cotton candy and the caramel apples, because the season finale of The Carnival of Bauer is up and running at B4B, Feel free to browse the hilarity, which is much improved since my Top Ten List has been entered. Heh.

Now, where did I leave my clown makeup?

Worst Finale . . . EVER!

Well, 24 wrapped up Day 6 in a neat, tidy package. The two-hour finale was terrific . . . until the last ten minutes or so. As a contributor at Blogs4Bauer, this may sound like heresy, but we blog about 24; we do not carry water for it. With that in mind, I decided to offer some alternatives to the schmaltzy ending we all had to suffer through. Hell, anything could have been better than THAT baloney, right?

The Top Ten Better Ways To End Day 6

10. Show footage of Milo Pressman's autopsy.
9. Al Gore rambles on about the consequences of a nuclear strike.
8. Marilyn Bauer serves Jack with a paternity suit.
7. Jack comes to the realization that his man-purse is really gay.
6. Chloe spends an hour paying her bills online.
5. Jack's mom arrives in time to kill Phillip Bauer with a swizzle stick.
4. The B4B contributors cameo as "Dead Henchmen #1-9."
3. Jack leaves work early to get a head start Memorial Day.
2. A drunk Jack Bauer eliminates Cheng by vomiting on his shoes.

And the number one better way to end Day 6 is . . .

1. Jack strangles Audrey while bedding Nina Myers' corpse.

Miss Blogs4Bauer Final Four

It's down to four hotties in the Miss B4B Contest. And since next week's episode is the two-hour season finale, we're having a preliminary voting round to see who makes the finals. You can cast your vote HERE.

Personally, I'm throwing my votes toward Nina Myers.

Jack Bauer Appreciation Day

Today, May 9, is Jack Bauer Appreciation Day. Thus, it should be celebrated in many violent ways, most of which are mentioned at Blogs4Bauer. Personally, I think if you truly want to celebrate the day in an appropriate fashion, you would hook up with an ugly broad with a huge nose.

But, that's just me.

The adventures of Flat Stanley

Flat Stanley recently spent a day with Jack Bauer! Check out Blogs4Bauer for the first part of his adventure.

Live Blogging 24

I will be liveblogging 24 over at Blogs4Bauer tonight.

Click Here to join the discussion.

A Miss Blogs4Bauer Update

Round 2 is currently underway, and the final eight contestants have been announced:


Kim Bauer
Mandy
Nadia Yassir
Martha Logan
Nina Myers
Teri Bauer
Marilyn Bauer
Chloe O'Brian


The opening battle in Round 2 is the titanic matchup pitting Kim Bauer versus Mandy. Make sure to stop by and cast your vote!

Blogs4Bauer LiveBlogging!

It's an Easter Miracle! I will be LiveBlogging tonight's episode of 24 at my home-away-from-home, Blogs4Bauer. Feel free to stop by and say hello, since I will only be able to hear the action. My television is on the other side of the room as my PC, and when I am typing, my back is to it.

The sacrifices we make for your entertainment.

And while you're at B4B, don't forget to cast your vote in this week's Miss Blogs4Bauer matchup: Chloe O'Brian versus the late Michelle Dessler. You can cast your ballot HERE.

Oh, and speaking of Chloe O'Brian, everyone's favorite techno-Yoda Rachel has officially un-retired. She must thunk she's Michael Jordan or something. 11 Days. That must be a retirement record. Heh.

A Miss Blogs4Bauer Update

Sure she's a crazy bitch, but she shows more cleavage than J-Lo!

For those of you who thought tonight's episode of 24 sucked arse - and that should be most of you - fear not: Blogs4Bauer has contingency plans. Why not vote in this week's Miss Blogs4Bauer Contest? Just a thought.

You can cast your ballot HERE.

And Now, An Important Message From Jack Bauer

Hello, my name is Jack Bauer, and I am a federal agent with the Counter Terrorist Unit, or CTU. Recently, I spent two years being tortured in a Chinese prison, watched helplessly as Islamic terrorists detonated a nuclear device over Los Angeles, and learned that my true love died while trying to save me. While these incidents have been traumatic, I am here to alert you to an even more frightening event; the sale of Anna Nicole Smiths' diaries.

Imagine my consternation when I read this blurb at Yahoo! News:

The late Playboy model's handwritten 1992 diary was sold for $282,500 and her 1994 diary went for $230,000 in an eBay auction Thursday, plus a 20 percent buyer's premium.

Certainly, someone that has done as much for this country as Ms. Smith deserves better. Her diaries belong in The Smithsonian, alongside such great American works as The Emancipation Proclamation and the original copy of RUN DMC's masterpiece "King of Rock." As a matter of fact, the $500,000 purchase price for such priceless items is an insult: I would have paid thrice that amount.

In case you haven't caught on by now, I am being completely sarcastic here.

Let me tell you what I really think about this non-story. Anna Nicole Smith became famous because she showed her cooter to the world for money! This woman is not an American icon. this woman is not a role model. This woman had little to no moral courage. At least Nina Myers kept her clothes on for her queen's ransom.

The members of CTU Los Angeles are putting our asses on the line every day for this country. We bleed, we die, we turn on each other like a bunch of high school girls, and for what? To be upstaged by some empty-headed bimbo who wrote her diary in Crayola??? I don't think so. If I want to see about mindless idiots writing mindless thoughts, I would be watching the Democrats pontificate on C-SPAN.

We don't have time to care about Anna Nicole Smith's diaries, damnit!!!

(Cross-posted at Blogs4Bauer)

Blogs4Bauer LiveBlogging!

Much like Martha Logan, I will be taking a stab at LiveBlogging tonight's episode of 24 over at Blogs4Bauer. This attempt should be easier than my last one, where I blogged a two-hour extravaganza. I'm just getting the feeling back in my fingers. Any hoo, like every CTU mole, I do not balk at bribes, so if you would like me to mention your blog during the post, the bidding starts at $100. Heh.

P.S. - The Weekend Caption Contest results are up. Scroll down for the top ten entries.

Miss Blogs4Bauer Update

The next round in the Miss Blogs4Bauer Contest is up and running . . . and it was written by yours truly! I mean, if that's not enough to get you over there to vote, I don't know what is.

Then again, this week's matchup may peak your interest . . .










You can cast your vote HERE.

Miss Blogs4Bauer Contest Update

This week's matchup is posted at Blogs4Bauer, pitting Teri "Worm Food" Bauer against uber-sultry Collette Stenger (below). I don't think there's really a choice here, do you?

This week's matchup ends on Monday. You can cast your vote HERE.

A Miss Blogs4Bauer Pageant Update

Nina Myers: Moving On

Allah be praised! Nina Myers wiped the mat with Audrey "Big Nose" Raines last week, winning her match up by 184 votes. NICE! This week's contest pairs Sherry "Uber-bitch" Palmer against Lesbian Terrorist Mandy. Make sure you vote early and often. You can do so HERE.

Jack Says, "Vote Or Die!"

The voting for this week's round of the Miss Blogs4Bauer Pageant continues. Our next matchup will be posted on Monday.

A Miss Blogs4Bauer Update

Well kids, the next round of The Miss Blogs4Bauer Pageant is up and running. This week, the lovely and devilish Nina Myers is squaring off against the butt-ugly and annoying Audrey Raines. Make sure you stop by B4B and cast your ballot! Any guesses on who I chose?