A Bauer Kind Of Valentine's

Even a tough guy like Jack Bauer can set aside a little time for Valentine’s Day. I mean anyone who spends so much time surrounded by internal organs and buckets of blood should have respect for matters of the heart, right?

Strangely enough, since Jack is too busy to save the world to waste his time scouring the local Hallmark store, he gives out homemade Valentine’s cards. Here are ten of his favorites.

10. Audrey, everyone “nose” that I love you.
9. All I need is you . . . and a handful of piano wire.
8. Be Mine . . . or else!
7. I Choo Choo Choose you . . . to die!
6. Happy Valentine’s Day, Josh! Love, Dad.
5. I love you more than a fully loaded shotgun.
4. Cupid shot me with an arrow. Now I’m gonna make him pay.
3. Damnit, we don’t have time for you’re expression of love!!!
2. Roses are red, violets are blue. If you don’t tell me what you know, I’ll garrote you.

And Jack Bauer’s number one favorite homemade Valentine is . . .

1. I stole your heart . . . and I’m going to let you see it before you die.

(Cross-posted at Blogs4Bauer)