Tuesday, May 15, 2007

And Now, An Important Message

As-Salaam-Alaikum. My name is Abu Ayyub al-Masri, and I am the exalted leader of al Qaeda in Iraq. What, you heard I was dead. No. I am very much alive, and enjoying my cult status as the Egyptian Snake Plissken. If I had a Geneih for every time someone told me they "thought I was dead," I would be able to afford 72 virgins here on Earth! But I digress.

Allah has brought me to this insipid Yankee blog to relay a message: when you vote in today's primary elections, please vote Democrat. For when you vote Democrat, you can help the will of Allah impose such helpful legislation as this:
WASHINGTON - Senate Democrats are staging a dramatic anti-war vote this week, with moderates collaborating behind closed doors on legislation that could call on President Bush to rethink his war strategy.

Majority Leader Harry Reid announced Monday that members will decide whether to cut off money for the Iraq war next year, as well as consider a softer proposal calling for troops to leave this fall. The two measures would be offered as amendments to a water projects funding bill to be debated this week. (H/T - Yahoo! News)
I am sorry, but I cannot stop laughing when I read such things. I also credited the source. Not only because I enjoy saying the word "Yahoo," but also because those of on the sub-continent give credit where credit is due. Like that time when Colonel Muammar Khadafy told everyone that it was al Qaeda's idea to call Ronald Reagan a "sub par B-movie actor" - as brilliant as that was, it was all him. See? Credit where it's due.

The Democrats will lead your despicable country on the path to a glorious peace and prosperity. They will bring home your troops, which is preferable, because they are only dying meaningless deaths in our holy lands. We killed 10,000 of your soldiers this week, but your so-called mainstream media refuses to report it. It is like some of your pundits have said, "There is no good news coming out of Iraq."

The Democrats will also lead The Great Satan out of those places in which it does not belong: Iraq; Afghanistan; South Central Los Angeles. In doing so, al Qaeda's blessed savior Osama bin Laden will rename your country "The Really Great Satan." And, unlike the French, we will not use this title in a sarcastic manner. That is correct: we hate the French, too.

Remember, infidels, to choose wisely this day. Elect a Democrat. And remember to follow the sacred Democratic rules: vote early and vote often! Allahu Akbar!

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