It's Funny, Cause He's A Douche

Keith Olbermann has been fired yet again. Man, when you’ve lost Al Gore . . .

The left-leaning cable network announced that “Countdown,” the show Olbermann has hosted on Current since last June, would be replaced with a show hosted by former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer. The sometimes volatile Olbermann came to Current last year as the centerpiece of its new prime-time initiative after a stormy eight-year stint at MSNBC, followed by his abrupt departure in January 2011.

In a statement, Current TV founders Al Gore and Joel Hyatt said the network was “founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

Bawahahahaha! This arrogant, loudmouth tool was replaced by a guy who spent more time patronizing primo ho-oars than he did governing the state of New York.

Over The River And Through The Woods

I took a trip to king of Prussia yesterday to visit my grandparents' grave site - albeit a week later than I had planned. The cemetery is a really nice spot, and since it was raining, there weren't a lot of people there. I spent about a half hour at the site, wiped down the headstone (it was a little dirty), and talked to them. Maybe that makes me crazy, I don't know.

When I left, I took a detour through their hometown (Bridgeport, PA) and stopped by their home (pictured above). It looks exactly the same as it did when I was a kid. As my Uncle Ray said, Bridgeport is The Town That Time Forgot. He's right. That's both creepy and comforting.

Doing It By The Book

Hey, I wrote a book. Well, I co-wrote a novel with my friend Pam from Blogmeister USA.

Here’s the back story:

Pam started working on a murder mystery in late 2008. It was set in Connecticut, and she wanted me to be a technical advisor for all things police. I jumped at the opportunity because Pam got me my former gig at Family Security Matters, and because Pam is a terrific writer. (She writes for Breitbart’s Big Hollywood, American Spectator, and other top sites.) I gave her what I could, with the caveat that everything was coming from a Philly point of view. I told her that reports and procedures in CT may be different.

After a few months of contribution, Pam asked me to be a co-author on January 12, 2009. We decided to move the setting from Connecticut to Philly, and Only Son was born.

I’ve been keeping the secret ever since; more than three years. New league record!

Writing, to me, has always been easy. (Maybe that’s why I’m not that great at it.) Writing this book, however, was difficult; especially when your co-author lives 180 miles away. We finished the final draft in October 2010, and tried shopping it to agents for about a year. When we were unsuccessful, we decided to self-publish through CreateSpace, a division of Amazon. I went to work on finalizing everything and getting it truly ready to publish. That took about a month. Now, we’re up and ready to go, and my only worry is that I missed some giant, glaring error.

I Remember Joseph A. Remar

Today would have been my maternal grandfather’s 100th birthday. More so than almost any other person, Joseph A. Remar was the guiding influence in my life. He helped teach me how to hunt and to fish, immersed me into my Slovak roots, and the joy of sauerkraut pierogies. He turned me on to baseball, and Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer. He was always patient and kind to me, even during the times when I was a little monster – which was most of the time.

Pop Pop was truly old school; the kind of guy that made “Wild” Bill Guarnere look like a hipster doofus. Got a toothache? Rub some Jack Daniels on it! Stung by a bee? Rub some dirt on it! (I saw this firsthand when a bee stung me on the bottom lip as a kid. The mud did not taste good at all.) He drank whiskey (something I could never do), chewed tobacco and would beat you to death with your own arm if you questioned him about it.

Reign Of Fire

I’m not sure how Slovaks treat their delinquent children, but I would hope these kids’ have a Hostel-inspired punishment in their futures.

Police were investigating two boys on suspicion that they set grass at the foot of the Krasna Horka castle on fire when they tried to light up cigarettes, said Jana Mesarova, police spokeswoman for the Slovak region of Kosice. The castle subsequently caught fire and emergency services deployed 84 firefighters to the scene.

The Slovak National Museum said that damage to the castle was extensive but about 90 percent of historical collections were saved, including photographs of furnished castle premises from the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, oil paintings and various ornaments.

“The castle’s roof burned down, as well as the new exhibition in the Gothic palace and the bell tower. Three bells melted,” the museum said.

The castle dates back to the 14th century. If my grandfather was still alive, he’d go back to the old country and personally beat these little bastards within an inch of their lives.

A Scary Public Service Message

This beautiful little girl gave us quite a scare early this morning.

My two-year old daughter Julia rarely sleeps through the night. When she wakes up halfway through, the missus brings her upstairs to sleep in our bed. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. Last night, the wife woke me up with, “SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH JULIA!!!” I jumped up and saw the missus holding Julia. Her eyes were glazed over, staring into space, and her mouth was making movements like she was a fish out of water. She wouldn’t respond to us when we called out her name. She was breathing, but something was wrong.

You know all of those stories where cops say their training kicked in? Not so much. I freaked out. I panicked. I knew she didn’t need CPR, but other than that, I just kept calling her name through tears. I thought she was dying right in front of our eyes.

I told the wife to get dressed and rush her to the hospital. She did, and as she left, Julia started crying. I figured that was a good sign. The missus called me a very long hour later and said Julia was okay. The doctors think she has a febrile seizure, which is brought about by a sudden, high fever in children. They pumped her full of liquids, did a few tests, and took a chest x-ray. Everything came back normal and the docs prescribed some medicines to help her through the cold/fever. We had a follow-up with our family practitioner this afternoon.

Suffice to say, after this nightmare I won’t be sleeping very soundly for a long, long time.

If you have young children, check out the information on febrile seizures by clicking here. Arm yourself with knowledge, in case this happens to your child.

Major Richard “Dick” Winters, 1918-2011

Longtime readers of SYLG know that Dick Winters is a personal hero of mine, and I wanted nothing more in life than to meet him in person. Sadly, that will never happen, as we lost Major Winters on January 2nd. He requested a private, unannounced funeral service, which took place on Saturday. He was 92 years old.

If I were king of the world, the news of Major Winters’ passing would be broadcast over every internet provider, television, radio, and cellphone. The tributes to this man, one of the greatest of “the greatest generation” would soon follow. Winters’ life story would be taught in schools, and told to every man, woman, and child on Earth.

But we know that’s not going to happen, because America’s priorities aren’t in order. In today’s America, people are more concerned with parasites like Lindsay Lohan and Michael Vick than a man who led one of the most decorated companies in World War II. And that disappoints me.

On D-Day, June 6, 1944, Winters and his troops from Easy Company, 506th regiment of the 101st Airborne Division, parachuted behind enemy lines to take on a German artillery nest on Utah Beach. His company fought through the Battle of the Bulge, the liberation of a death camp at Dachau and to Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest at Berchtesgaden.

I still believe Major Winters deserved the Medal of Honor for his actions on D-Day, but you know that he would disagree.

Thankfully, Major Winters helped spread the good word about Easy Company after the war, and did so until his death.

Winters was always gracious about his new-found celebrity, but never really comfortable with it. He wanted people to understand that success in war depends not on heroics but on bonding, character, getting the job done and “hanging tough,” his lifelong motto. In combat, he wrote 50 years after the war, “your reward for a good job done is that you get the next tough mission.”

Following the miniseries, Winters turned down most requests for interviews because he said he didn’t want to appear like he was bragging. But he did feel the story of Easy Company was an important one, especially for young people.

The men who served under him and people who only met him later in life call him a hero, no matter what he says. According to the book, one wounded member of Easy Company wrote Winters from a hospital bed in 1945, “I would follow you into hell.”

Is there any American would wouldn’t? If Dick Winters was leading, at least you knew he was leading from a position of strength.

In November, I posted a story about a fund-raising effort to erect a statue of Major Winters in Normandy, France. An 11-year old Western Pennsylvania boy was selling wristbands to gather some of the money needed for the project. (The link for the wristbands is still in the right sidebar, where it will remain.) The organizers wanted to erect the statue “before it was too late” for Winters to see it. It was at the link that I learned that he contracted Parkinson’s Disease, and it finally dawned on me that our heroes are not going to live forever.

So what do we do? We live by the example our heroes set. We aspire to emulate our heroes and those actions and attributes that make them heroic. In Major Winters’ case, those actions had nothing to do with his combat record. They had to do with his humility, his leadership skills, and his ability to bring out the best in people, whether on the battlefield or in the boardroom. If we can honor Dick Winters by being more like him, he can live forever in us all.

Godspeed, sir. Thank you for your service, your example, and your heroism. Currahee!

In honor of Major Winters, there will be no posts tomorrow.

1 Million Hits B.C.

Wow.

I started this blog on June 6, 2005 – just under five years ago. Since that fateful day, there have been 6,020 posts (most of them involving fabulous babes), 36,000+ comments (most of them from RT), and now, this tiny, insignificant blog reached an unbelievable milestone: one million unique visits!

Naturally, I have writer’s block today. Those of you who know me personally know how rare it is to see me speechless, but what can I say? The bloated gasbag you have all come to know and love/hate can’t put a coherent sentence together on the biggest day in this blog’s life. So instead, I’ll tell you a story:

In January of 2004, I was talking to a college pal of mine. He sent me a link to his “blog.” Being a wise-ass, I wrote back, “What the frak is a blog?” He explained that it was akin to an internet journal where people post their thoughts, stories, and rants. I thought, “People actually read that crap?” He assured me that they did. Being a self-centered blowhard, this was just the thing for me. I could rant about the things that annoyed me – like, “humans” – and practice what I love – writing- at the same time!

The first blog was born, and it lasted 11 months. I quit that one because of troll trouble and swore I wouldn’t go back. I was out of the game for six months when I christened SYLG, so it seems that I am a big, fat liar.

The first year was fun, but some of the posts were really raw. Check the archives; it’s true. I had a few loyal readers and made a couple of very good blog friends. Being an attention whore, I started reading and commenting on bigger and better blogs. Not a difficult task considering my posts, but I gained a few readers here and there. I worked really hard at writing posts and adopted a policy: I would try to respond to every single comment. It’s a policy I still employ because I think the interaction, the give-and-take makes the blog better.

Soon, more people stopped by to read. Then people stopped by to read and comment. I made new friends of both the “real world” and the “internet” variety, and this insipid little blog started to look like a family. An insane, inbred family, but a family nonetheless. In just five years, SYLG’s daily visits went from 10 to 1,000. And while that is a drop in the bucket for people like Ace and Rusty, it was more than enough to keep me fat and happy. But mostly fat.

The blog opened doors. I was asked to contribute at Blogs4Bauer. I was offered a writing position at Family Security Matters. I was interviewed by Deb Goodrich on her Topeka, Kansas radio show – twice! And I was asked to be part of something really huge, but I can’t talk about that yet. Soon, though.

None of this – my success, or whatever you would term it – is because of you good people. Without you, this blog disappears. So, thank you all for reading. Thank you all for commenting. Thank you for linking. Thank you all for making Support Your Local Gunfighter what it is: a pretty damned good blog. I hope I continue to earn your readership.

Oh, before I forget, it seems the lucky visitor is Sully! Congratulations, my friend! Let me know what you want for your victory!

Requiem For A Friend

My frequent commenter, fellow Penguins fan and blog friend Right Wing Prof lost his battle with cancer this morning. Xopher posted this comment on the Prof’s blog:

My beloved companion and dearest friend fell asleep in the Lord at 1:45 this morning, after a short struggle against an overwhelming foe, with the sweet acceptance that has characterized his gallant witness through this entire ordeal.

His brother Jan, sister-in-law Phyllis, and I were holding his hands at the moment of death.

It is no great understatement that the news is devastating.

I first met Clay Bond in person on July 23, 2007, when a few of us – including Sebastian and Bitter – met at Geno’s Steaks for lunch. I almost missed the opportunity. You know how you sometimes have a mental picture of someone that is completely different from the real picture? Well, that was the case that day. I had never seen a photo of the Prof before, and while I was walking around Geno’s looking for him, I walked right by without even knowing it. After searching for a bit, I decided that I would just go to the car and hope for the best. Thankfully, he and Sebastian saw me and flagged me down. I’m glad they did.

Clay was the exact opposite of what I expected. I pictured a tweed jacket with patches on the sleeves, flawlessly coiffed hair, and the perfect manicure. Instead, I got facial hair, tattoos, and more gun knowledge than more Marines.

Thankfully, I got the latter.

That day at Geno’s is one that I will always remember. The four of us talked and laughed for a few hours, and Clay gave me a parting gift: Season 1 of Sleeper Cell on DVD. I was very appreciative, but Clay dismissed it as nothing. That is the kind of person Clay Bond was. Thoughtful, kind, and selfless.

In the two and a half years since, we e-mailed each other frequently, discussing the Penn State/Michigan rivalry, the Steelers, politics, and the occasional link to a good news story for each others’ blogs. About a year ago, he asked me why I was such a big hockey fan. I used that as an opening to really expose him to the sport. Clay took in a few Penn State games and started following one of my favorite teams, the Pittsburgh Penguins. I would beam with pride when he would send me an e-mail talking about “that awesome game” Sidney Crosby had. While Indiana basketball and Steelers football were first in his sports heart, the Pens earned their place there as well.

He read SYLG often, and commented frequently – sometimes to my embarrassment. When I posted about my skin cancer, he seemed more concerned with my dinky little basal cell issue than his own battle with lung cancer. Again, selfless.

I never posted about this, but I drove out to see Clay on November 20. It was something I simply had to do, and I am glad I did. When I walked into his room, he looked at me and smiled. Pointing to his dry erase board, I saw a list of visitors for the day. There were a few names there, and at the bottom of the list was a large WYATT! It was enough to make me well up.

After we exchanged pleasantries, he asked me, “Wyatt, why the hell did you drive all the way out here?” I looked at him and realized that he was serious. He thought I was insane. Instead of getting all emotional, I went into sarcastic mode and replied, “I’m here to kick your ass out of bed, and if you don’t beat this soon, I’m bringing the SWAT team, MP-5s and flash-bangs.”

I was fortunate enough to spend four hours with him and his son – a terrific person, by the way. I also met Father Alexander, the man who brought Clay back to the Orthodox Church and a few of Clay’s caregivers. When it was time to go, I told him that he better keep fighting, and I would try to visit again soon. Sadly, I will not get the chance.

The drive home was a sad one. I cried for a while and was only comforted by the fact that Clay’s faith kept him strong. He had a terrific support system and was surrounded by family and friends until the end. I am confident that he is with God now.

I apologize of this post is all over the place, but I’m just in stream-of-consciousness mode. In honor of Clay Bond, the Right Wing Prof, there will be no other posts today.

Dorothy Krysiuk Is Leaving Fox 29!

This is not happening. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!

As regular readers can tell you, Dorothy is the traffic gal on the local FOXNews affiliate. She’s dreamy, and I love her. (Figuratively, of course – I’m not a stalker.) There is no one in the tri-state area that is a bigger fan of hers than I. And that is why I am depressed today.

The traffic jam between Dorothy Krysiuk and Fox29 was over hours, as management wanted Krysiuk to add the 5 p.m. show to her day. Krysiuk is the traffic person for “Good Day Philadelphia,” which begins at 5 a.m. Other traffic reporters such as John Ogden of NBC10 and Bob Kelly of CBS3 work the morning and evening shifts.

Krysiuk did not immediately return an email and Fox29 also did not respond to a previous email about why Krysiuk was leaving the station.

Krysiuk, a Temple University graduate worked for Fox29 since 2001, and before that was on Channel 10.

As terrific as it would be to see Dorothy once every twelve hours, I can’t condemn her for not wanting to do both shows. (Of course, I couldn’t condemn her if she came on this blog and told me my writing made her violently ill. This is Dorothy we’re talking about!) Putting in a 12+ hour workday would be terrible for her hair that resembles spun gold, her alabaster skin, and her sunny disposition.

Sources are saying that Dorothy wants to “take a break from television,” and will not be signing on with another outlet. You thought I was grumpy and miserable in the mornings now? Wait until you see me without my daily dose of Dorothy!

Somewhere, the other angels are crying.