Yeah, I know: The Triumvirate of Evil want me to butt the hell out already, but I needed a break from packing every piece of clothing in our home. I keep thinking about this damned plane ride - I'm not a good flier - and I keep feeling queasy. The worst part is that I have to act like a man - a role not suited for me - in front of the kids. So, that rules out me running up and down the aisles yelling, "Let me off! Let me off! Let me off!"
I am a chronic worrier, but I was also a Boy Scout, so I want to be prepared for a midair blimp attack. Thus, I want to make sure my assets are covered. Thus, I give to you . . .
Wyatt's Top Ten Last Will And Testament Provisions
10. Fmragtops must write a eulogy on his blog - just to get him posting again.
9. I will donate my brain to science . . . for lab rat food.
8. The CUG will hunt down and impale those responsible for my demise.
7. Lipo will be performed so I leave a better-looking corpse.
6. Fitch will stop his hippie ways, post haste!
5. Dave at Garfield Ridge will compare me to Neil Diamond.
4. CBS will bring back Robbery Homicide Division.
3. Vinnie will amend my score on the 17th to read a 2.
2. The autopsy results revealing that I am a Cylon will be sealed.
And the number one Last Will and Testament provision is . . .
1. Uber and Pandy will attend the funeral . . . in cheerleader uniforms.
Tin Cop,
ReplyDeleteI don't remember seeing any Cylons that needed Lipo.
Have a good vaca...
Oh, and FIRSSST!!!
I'M NOT A HIPPIE!!!
ReplyDeleteYou still here? Go have fun with your family, and leave The Triumverate Of Evil to our own devices. Your blog may or may not be here when you return.
ReplyDeleteGeneral Zod will smite any airline official guilty of any douchebaggery that may cause you to suffer. Make sure you tell them that too. And tell them to kneel before Zod!
Zod will strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to crash the airplane of my brothers. And you will know my name is Zod when I lay my vengeance upon thee! Not that this whole Triumverate Of Evil thing has gone to my head.
Don't worry Wyatt, airplanes almost never crash. Have fun on your vacation. That's what you're supposed to do on vacation, or so I've heard.
ReplyDeleteHey, if number 1 will come true, well, I guess sacrificing you for it would be fine!
ReplyDeleteI can see why number 1 is number 1!
ReplyDeleteNOW GO HAVE FUN, DAMMIT!!!
You forgot the Guiness!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful trip. Just know that it is just as hot, yet much harder to breathe here than it is there. :)
Thnaks all! I'm out! See y'all on August 9th!!!
ReplyDeleteDamnit!!! I meant "Thanks."
ReplyDeleteBrain is already on vacation.
My pregnant belly won't fit in a cheerleader uniform!
ReplyDeleteHope it's a fabulous trip...