Well, I Can't Imagine He'd Ever Find A Real Woman

Investigators charge that a funeral home worker planned to use a body bag to smuggle a life-size sex doll out of the home of a man who died in his Nebraska residence, according to court records. Ryan Smith, 42, was arrested in October for allegedly breaking into the Omaha apartment where the deceased man lived. At the time, Smith worked for Mid America First Call, which handles “removals, transportation, embalming, cremations, and ship-outs.”

“Both of the males that came to collect the body made comments about the sex doll found on location,” according to an arrest affidavit. Smith’s initial entry into the apartment was with law enforcement personnel, who subsequently locked and secured the home. Later that day, Smith allegedly returned to the residence carrying a body bag, telling apartment complex staff that he was acting on behalf of the sheriff’s office and “wished to collect the ‘sex doll’ located inside the deceased tenant’s apartment for evidentiary purposes.” Additionally, he told workers that he was there to “collect a stretcher he claimed that was left behind.”

I'm sure he missed the sex doll's "behind."